Don't ~
Call For Silence

Sleep, oh sleep, wherefore art thou, sleep?
It is now 1:50am, offically Thanksgiving day for all of America!
I am at my roommate's house, where I shall be residing for the next two days, and although I know I'm going to have to get up at a semi-decent hour tomorrow, I definitly can't go to sleep now after staying up till well after 4am last night watching British Comedy.
In a single night I got through ALL of (Un)natural Acts, which is an older British comedy show which can be found in entirety here: LINK if you're interested. Also watched The Big Fat Quiz Show from 2007 last night because Noel Fielding is in it =D He's teamed with Russell Brand if that means anything to anyone. Then we went back and watched the 2006 one this past afternoon which is where their team actually ended up winning. XD Most hysterical pair of quiz shows I've ever seen. I swear I laughed so hard I had a stitch in my side. It was brilliant! Banana battlements? =DDDDDD

That's the other thing going on. Noel Fielding.
Mmmmmmmmm yeah.
  

Yeah. So I'm back in love with The Mighty Boosh, which you should really watch if you haven't yet. I'd find something to convince you that it's magical, but really it's sort of insane. Magical too though. Julian Barratt, who plays Howard Moon, and Noel Fielding who plays Vince Noir have this amazing chemistry. Molly pointed it out first, but they just always seem really happy around one another. I mean, Noel seems happy just like, ALL the time, and Julian seems tired a lot in more recent footage, but the really do seem so happy together. They had a lot of chemistry before the Boosh. They started out on stand-up together, and really hit it off when they did sketches together in (Un)natural Acts. They're each brilliant on their own, Julian is a fantastic musician and comedian, does all the Boosh music, and Noel is adorable. They really do work best together too, because Julian's stuff on his own is very different, and although funny it is a little weird and all the weird turns into gold with Noel there to bounce off of it. Noel's best with the bouncing off of someone too. Otherwise he is a little odd. You easily take him as just a stoned idiot I guess. I saw a bunch of things with him and Russell Brand, and although they're adorable, they don't really gel as a duo. Russell's all about working off one another and Noel's best bouncing off of someone, which is why he and Julian are amazing.
Okay. </rant>
Anyway, fell in love all over again with Noel Fielding. Found him making out with Julian on occassion =D For comedy, but it's still hot (please ask for videos below! I favorited them all!!)
And I also found this song: DO WATCH which I've decided is very appropriately my theme song.

Anyway, that lead me to realizing that really, I find androgyny really freakin hot. It is hot.
I'm into, not only guys who look/act like girls, but girls who look/act like guys! I mean, Pink and Xena are my top chicks, they're pretty manly divas, no? And I know I've always liked skinny guys, but especially the ones in touch with their feminine sides, and if anyone out there knows who Noel Fielding is before I've starting posting all these things, then you'll understand.
... I wish I were androgynous. I guess I sort of am really. >> Maybe just a little bit. <3

On another note, writing going well despite the abrupt turn from emo to British comedy. I read everything in Noel's voice now, and I think I may have started talking with a British accent. I try to stop myself when I catch it, but I sort of fancy talking Britishly <3 Still, the story is carrying on. There's going to be SO much to ADD during the revision since I'm trying to reach the end by the end of the month. Fat chance. There are still more deaths to write and I'm at 44k!

Now I want to leave you with a series of pictures of Noel and Julian because it really is late and I SHOULD be sleeping. Cheers!

This week has been full of excitements and things! =D We'll work backwards:

Today I had a lovely day of yoga. I think I'm getting good at this stuff. I mean, between yoga and fast fitness I'm hot. Yes I am. XD It's a good thing too, because all the sitting around and eating rich foods that NaNo month makes me prone to is working against me. >>
I also totally had to have nearly aced my math test. <3 There was one where I wasn't sure I got it right. >> Grr. But the rest was easy and I wrote down everything for the equations (most of which does NOT need to be written down. Grr) but I think I did fantastic! =D Big improvement from how I felt about the previous one!

And yesterday Rachel and I attended a thing in our hall that was titled "Sex Toys!" We went because there's a bright green poster across the hall with that on it and we thought it was funny. It also was because they gave us banana splits at the end <3 Of course, you had to properly slide a condom on the banana to earn it, but no complaints! I love banana splits! =D It was also really funny. She talked all about contraceptives and birth control and hormones, and then showed us a HUGE variety of sex toys and talked about how to use them. O___O One might think of this as odd or frightening, but it was really fun somehow. XDD I felt SO awkward, but it was exciting.
But really, do sex toys need to ruin my childhood? >> Vibrating rubber ducky? Come ON people. XD

Sunday was the half-way party for NaNoWriMo, and it was at a rollerskating alley! =D Fantastic! I haven't been rollerskating since I left Colorado!! Well, I used roller blades, but it was still amazing! Only a few people from our region actually showed up, but it was still awesome. I like skating all fast. I love it when they turn out the lights and just have the moving shiney lights because then it feels like my own little world and I navigate the crowds...
Rachel's gotten a lot better at skating too! We'll have to go ice skating more often I think.

Speaking of half-way, I should pass 30,000 words tonight if I'm diligent! =D

The biggest news of the week is rather big. >>
The really cute guy from the friday write ins at the coffee shop who I've totally been crushing on since this NaNo began *such a bad person* likes me too! O__O Ahhhhh!
What's worse? He asked me out after the write-in! And I totally did NOT get it. T_____T I was like "Sure! I'm really busy with college and all, but we could hang out sometime!" and he took that as a "maybe" but then I left and was like "... CRAP WHAT?" and yeah. T___T
It's no fair that he's so attractive either. Me, having a boyfriend far away now having to deal with this hot guy who likes Doctor Who and would go gay for David Tennant and is a great big nerd and a WRITER *swoon* liking me back. >> Where were the hot guys asking me out when I was single? Huh? I'm happily spoken for now curse you!

So I've been severely emo about that. No one else thinks it's all that big a deal. People are telling me to just properly turn him down next time I see him, but the PROBLEM is that I WANT to avoid the problem entirely. T__T Because I'm a bad person and I just don't know how to deal with this.
I mean. I have NEVER had this sort of problem before. O__O
And dumping Jason for an older guy does NOT factor into the options. T___T Having two boyfriends is not an option. And being like "WUT NO!" sounds like such a harsh option too. *confused* I could just avoid it for the rest of my life, but *sigh* I would like to just be friends, but only like, NaNo friends, and I don't want to be mean.
Am I ever shallow, right? *sigh*
It's just not one of those things that you prepare yourself for, you know? I was all for being all flirty and then not seeing the guy again after the month was out, but if he's serious then I have to curl up in a corner and hide. T__T Again, being a bad person.

It's not as big a deal as I'm making it, I promise.

Those of you who survived the emo-rant, I had a vision and I know how to write Kitty's story properly now. O__O
I'm going to make her story third person through a first person narrator who decides to follow her around. My idea was to be like "Interview with a Vampire" a little bit, but after explaining it, Rachel says it sounds a lot like Watson following Sherlock Holmes, and that makes me happy so I'm going to think of it that way. The character will be ambiguous as I can make him/her so that it really won't matter what their gender is. Probably going to name him/her Sam. Unless I find a better name.
Then what I'll do is begin by having this person see her, follow her, watch her commit suicide once and survive it, and then become obsessed with her. This person will give us a historical background of Kitty, and then as the story progresses she'll fill in the details of her own life and the violence of her character will be filled in through the eyes of an innocent bystander! It will be amazing. It will probably end the same sort of way it began, with her walking past the narrator's basement apartment window. And this will probably be after she attempts suicide by throwing herself into a volcano.
(For those who don't know of Kitty and are confused, she's possibly my oldest character. She was found outside an orphanage as a baby with severe head trauma. This trauma disconnected her brain from the ability to feel certain emotions (keyly those involved with love). She ran away from the orphanage and  later in life tried to commit suicide, but found that no matter what she did, her body would realign as though nothing had changed about it. Pretty much, she's stationary in time so she's spending her days not taking ANYONE'S crap and trying to find ways to amuse/kill herself. Fantastic lady.)

There's a nice long rant. Glad I have that off my chest. I thought I'd have more poetry up by now, but I slack. T_T I'm writing a lot of crappy emo-poetry, so it will not be up for public viewing. Sorry!
Much love and hugs!

Lately I've been contimplating suicide.
Not for me! But for my story... I've been looking up suicides.
Not the cheeriest of subjects. I actually feel a little ill. The way people choose to die is only matched by the way people choose to kill others. Please, never hang yourself. Never, ever hang yourself.
I've decided to have my villian shoot himself in front of my protagonist at the end. I wanted him to shoot through his cheekbone backwards and up into the brain. Then Rachel and I had an arguement and I went on a search. Found a live video of a man committing suicide by shooting through his mouth.
I'm not feeling very well about all this.

Hm.
I'm not going to type much. My tendinitis has gotten horrible. Going to the write-ins doesn't help because it seems like the tables are always high and there's not enough recovery time between word wars. T__T I'm falling apart, but my novel is better than on track, so I guess that's good.

Yesterday my friend Laura got into a car accident. She and her mom and dog were in the car and they slipped on black ice and flipped twice. Her mom and dog were fine, but Laura is in a neck brace and in a lot of pain. Rachel and I brought her flowers today. It makes you feel the need to be extra careful. She was incredibly lucky, but what if she hadn't been? You know? This could have been the worst week ever. I'm glad she's alright.

Just found out that Sophomore year is the worst year for college goers. It's the year of disappointment and frustration for most. Could explain my dissatisfaction with my classes this quarter. Things will improve of course. Things always improve when one is not in emo-mode. I sign up for classes on the 19th, so I'll probably be active again then. Sorry for the lack of activity. Enough trauma to the wrists just through noveling though, you know? And I'm barely keeping up with classwork. Again.

Ugg. Suicide emos me out. Please, no one I know ever die, okay? Just go ahead and live healthy lives forever, will you? Thanks. I appriciate that so much.

As I'm not fun anymore I'll bid you goodnight and read Angels and Demons till I'm bubbly again. Or start reading something else. I'm feeling a bit fickle.

<3

Best holiday of the year, by far. I love candy, I love costumes, I love ghouls, and I love ghosts! I love the spiritual-meets-magic-meets-terror aspect of this great and glorious holiday! No matter where you want to trace it: to the Gaelics or to the Mexicans, or whereever you're going with your All Hallows Eve, it's the best night of the year.
Tonight I will be watching scary movies and then:

NaNoWriMo 2009 begins at midnight!!!
I'm going to hyperventilate and die.

I've planned. I'm prepared.
Not really, but I have 11/13 murders planned, most of the supporting cast, some of the plot, some of the motives, a lot of motivation and TEA, and I'm just so ready to get this show on the road. O_O
Please, please, please follow me this month by clicking on the NaNoWriMo logo at the top of the page here to keep up with my word count and hopefully catch a snippit of my novel once I've got it posted!
You can also check the weather here by going to the side bar, where I have the local weather posted, so you'll know as well as I what Nephele is up to with her weathery tricks. (My muse, see last rant)
If I become a shut-in, that's normal (I'm normally a shut-in I mean XD) but those are ways to keep contact with me, and also you can't possibly expect me to not keep up with my Restaurant City and Mafia Wars, so I'll be frequenting Facebook and maybe even going to the gym in between typing sessions...
However! Don't expect much here until the next month ends!

Much love! Happy Halloween, and a Happy Thanksgiving in the event that I miss that too! <3

So I had this insane dream last night that Rachel and I had bought an apartment that was set up like a cabin-style motel that was on "dream college" campus (don't ask. I have to name places cause they all repeat so much XD) and it was a studio apartment and we owned a cat. Well, I did something, then came back and my neighbor asked me about all the cages outside our door, or commented on them, and LO! My mother had sent us all these animals in carriers that were just sitting outside our door on the porch. O_O;
There were 5 birds, parakeets I'm pretty sure, in one carrier (terrible thing to keep birds in XD), around 3 kittens, spread between two carriers, maybe somewhere around 4 rabbits (What the heck?), and my two big dogs, Meeka and Moqui. O_O
Just showed up.
I spent the dream trying to find room for all of them and get them some sort of food to eat, but then several people decided they had emotional problems and needed to come over and stay with us for emotional support, so we had people sleeping in the kitchen with the dogs and the rabbits and cats in carriers in the main room and birds on a shelf and all this crazy going on and I was trying to reorganize the room alone because Rachel had some awesome job she kept going to all dressed up nice. It was insane. XD

The night before I dreamed I was doing something, or did something, and was driving back to my old neighborhood with (I think) Megan and Jason, but I was going too fast and missed the turn-off, so I thought I'd catch the next one, but it wasn't there anymore, so I kept going and turned the corner to come around the back-side, but there was a flea market there, so we got out, but for some reason we had a dog that needed to stay in the car, and maybe we got seperated or maybe I just had some sort of lapse, but I was suddenly hanging out with a dark, brooding guy who I think was a wolf and we were eating pasta at the flea market. Then we decided to make a U-turn and try the neighborhood again since it was important to get the dog home soon, and I was trying to reassure the wolf-guy, who was sitting in the back seat of the car with the dog and he was being all depressed. Then I woke up.

I sense a common theme. >>
This can all be blamed upon watching The 10th Kingdom. All the way through in a single weekend.

Also this weekend! We had the kick-off party for NaNoWriMo! It was lots of fun. I recieved a muse there. >> (Not a rock, though she resembles one GREATLY)
Her name is Nephele and she's the goddess of clouds and mother of centaurs. How cool is that?
It's her fault it's raining though, I suspect. We're having a monsoon and if I catch a cold from it I'll be very sad. Although it is really beautiful. Still cold. Still miserable to run to class in.

I apologize that I have nothing new to show for the website recently. I've probably failed you. Maybe if it clears up I'll get some pictures of Nephele outside just for giggles and post those... or maybe I'll finish planning for my story? O_O; maybe?

I'm probably going to read and go to the gym. Expect little of me I'm afraid. T^T I will be thinking of reformatting the site. >>

Doing my best not to get sick, so do your best too!
Hugs and smiles!

At 9:00 tonight there is going to a Halloween cookie decorating in our dorm. Freakin' cool. Rachel and I are going and we're going to be making some cookies and eating and being happy. Yes indeed. I'm so looking forward to this.

Otherwise my story seems to be progressing well. I've got the details solidified on 6/13 victims and have decided that one of the victims is going to be a magician who fakes suicide to avoid being killed, but ends up being killed anyway. It should be epic. That will happen at the mascarade ball. All the fantastic stuff looks to be happening in about the same place. I'll see what I can do about making the rest worth while.

I had the worst day in a long while with Intro to Poetry unfortunately. In case you're at all interested, the poem is "The Snow Man" by Wallace Stevens and I absolutely adore it. So it frustrated me when the teacher started talking around in circles about it and we ended up complicating it to the point of exhaustion and I was so frustrated with his insanity that I had to stop listening completely because I couldn't handle it anymore (childish, no? Better than storming out.) and I ended up being grumpy. I should cut this guy some slack. His wife was recently diagnosed with cancer and I am sorry about that. I really really am. It's just... he could still pay attention to his own conversation if that's going to be the case. He could still attempt to make any level of sense. It was just so annoying. I hate poetry analysis.

I finally got in contact with an advisor! He was really helpful. I think I'm going to like him. He gave me all sorts of information and I feel good about things. The problem is that he wants me to take two classes at the Riverpoint campus next quarter. In the winter. Once a week each from 5-10 at night. Ew.
I really do need the classes though, so I guess I'm just going to be doing it! I'll find out about the commute and work it out. It can't be all that horrible. Just once a week after all. We shall see.

Otherwise my life has not been of terribly much interest I'm afraid. Sorry. I know you suspected otherwise. XD
There's nothing new up for your enjoyment, and I apologize. Homework's been chaos, this is my first night off in a while. And I need to be reading Hamlet over the weekend. >>

Love and hugs to you all!

I've been suffering some sort of weird insomnia. I got more sleep last night, luckily, but it's just so weird. I think my bed must be uncomfortable or something. Maybe I'm just so stressed out about something or another... There is a lot to do, and maybe I'm just frustrated? I don't know. But I toss and turn and don't sleep well. I need to fix this. I can't sleep in well either. It's so weird.

Update on NaNoWriMo story is thus: Got most of Marilyn's character sheet filled out, figured out more about her cat, Walter, and decided details for the first 3 of the 13 victims. Yay! I'll hopefully have those all sorted out soon.
Tonight I'm going to have a super-mystery night while Rachel's spending the night in Spokane so I'll have a better idea of what I need to structure my story like. I read enough mystery, but it's good to have it fresh on the brain, I say!
So I'm definitly going to see Hitchcock's The 39 Steps and at least one older Sherlock Holmes movie. I might wait on Hound of the Baskervilles or Sign of Four and make Rachel watch those with me. >> But I definitly want to watch Holmes movies because he is my idol and my love, Sherlock is. And his writer. >> But we won't mention him right now.

What else? The weather was nice here this morning after I finished my math test, but it's sunken back into dreariness and chill. This is why they invented tea, so I'll be okay, but it is sad. Leaves outside the window are starting to change color! I consider that a plus to the effects of the weather.

Has anything else of any interest happened in my life? No. I suppose not particuarly. I'm reading Shakspeare's Much Ado About Nothing for class, and I'm learning that I am a weakling in yoga. Made a friend who shares my opinion on the idiocy of "analysizing" poetry, and I suppose that's about it. I should start thinking about what I'll eat for dinner tonight. I don't really feel like going out alone... we shall see.

Now you're all updated. Good job! I'll hopefully get around to posting more on Marilyn soon. If you haven't seen it this week, there's new Poetry up!
Ciao!

 Today I finally made another attempt to get myself a new advisor after I'd been very inconvienietly informed that my old advisor decided to take sabbatical without telling me. Well, apparently they're having an open house for Creative Writing advising >> On next Monday. An e-mail went out and she decided not to send one to me. I'm really grumpy about this whole ordeal.

Otherwise, I discovered two lovely horror movies over the weekend! All can be found in my Livejournal blog, but I'm going to actually recommend people see at least the first Saw movie and also Jacob's Ladder, which is the most fantastic story ever and to be doubly appriciate by fans of the Silent Hill titles.

I haven't done much further planning for my mystery unfortunately. I had a large load of homework to do over the weekend and got convinced to write a fanfic. >> I'm not so good at writing stories anymore I feel like. As my poetry improves, my prose gets worse and worse. I'm losing a sense of plot and conclusion. I also can't seem to hold on to characters. It's depressing. Jason's probably right and I'm just no good as a novelist, but I'd like to think I can do it. I guess I'll just have to keep up with the planning and put my faith in this mystery story working out. Marilyn could be the character I need to pull me out of this slump I seem to have found myself in.

I had a lot to say before, but now I've made myself sad. It's bitter cold outside recently. 18 degrees when I woke up this morning. I think it's up to 33 now, but we keep expecting snow. That would be lovely. I could use some new inspiration to write poetry, everything I've done recently feels like it's reverted back to the style I used to write in in middle school. Also depressing.

I think I'm looking for a reason to write rather than writing. Maybe I'll go do that now. Rachel's asleep so I could just slip out and write for a while. Or read. I'm really enjoying The Pale Blue Eye, but I've barel had time to read it! I've been reading Shakespeare for class, and I like most of them, but The Merchant of Venice was rather boring. Unfortunately. And there's so much reading for Intro to Poetry. I like reading the poems, but I really hate the book chapters. Every so often I want to strangle them. XD

I'll be going to the gym tonight I suspect. It'll just be a question of what I'm going to eat after that. Something warm. I can't tell you how cold it is outside and in our hallway and our bathroom. I want to curl up in bed like Rachel and take a nap but I know I won't want to do anything afterwards if I do. There's a lot to do...

Sorry this entry was so boring! Much love!

I spent the better part of my day reading and doing the stupid question worksheet for Romeo and Juliet. Probably took me the lesser part of six hours, what with my spending half the time online and not reading. XD
I love the story. I know some people don't like the idea of love at first sight or of love for such young lovers, but I like the story. I think I end up liking Taming of the Shrew better in the end, but I do love Romeo and Juliet. The language and the romance is just stronger, and I am a romantic.

My morning was interupted by a fire alarm at 7:ooam. >> Major ew. We were only out for 20 minutes, which is bad enough when I'm going to be waking at 9:ooam, but made three times worse by the fact that apparently someone punched a firealarm last night and we were kicked out for a good hour and a half while they fixed it. T__T That's just wrong. This hall had NO fire alarms last year while Morrison had well over 30. (I heard the offical count was over 60. I do not doubt it.)
Don't worry. I'm knocking on wood. We're jinxed enough as it is it seems. Seriously. Such crap.

The best good news I have is that I ended up winning the contest for Poets of Mars and am recieving $100 for my poem "I Love Sitting Under Stars" which is at the very bottom of my poetry gallery. ^_^
I don't even understand it though. They'd chosen that one and "Let Me Keep the Morning" which I have a rhyme to and have worked SO hard on perfecting, and they choose the one that I just decided to write because the first few lines came to me one night. XD So strange. I've barely tinkered with that one and they liked it best. I'm amused. And paid. <3
That makes me a pro! Whoo!

Other good things happening are that NaNoWriMo is up for business and as my story and character planning continues on there should be more and more of that showing up. Also, I'll be updating here as soon as I have completed character sheets! Yay!

And then there's bigger news! (not really) I have signed up to go to Sakuracon again this year (working out details as the months progress, but I will be attending!) and I've chosen my costume! BEHOLD!

Isn't she adorable? =D This is Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4. Also known as the President's daughter. >>
See, I'd always heard that she was just HORRIBLY annoying, but then I watched Rachel play the game (first of all fell in love with the design. UBER cute!) and I realized that as far as follow-along characters go, she's the least annoying I've yet encountered. She's useful (that chick is unnaturally strong for having those skinny little arms) and you can make her hide or stay put and she will. O_O The ONLY time she screams "LEON! LEON HELP!" is if you suck at the game and she's getting carried away. She also ducks down and does her best to not get shot at, so she's pretty much the best follow-along character ever!
Also, I cannot in any way blame her for her one-sided crush on Leon. I too, have a one-sided crush on Leon, as does everyone else in the world except for Luis who seems to be the only canon object of Leon's affections that isn't a crazy bitch. ^^
No really. I'm going to SO enjoy cosplaying her.

I suppose that catches me up for this week, doesn't it? This weekend I'm going to see the new Harry Potter movie (it's going to be at a cheap theater) and get my free flu-shot, and then I'll be having a horror/thriller marathon! =D Yay! And then you'll see plenty of updates in my LiveJournal. Good times.

Lots of love for all and a big glomp kiss for Jason when next I see him. <3

Goodnight and good luck.

It's finally October!! By far the best month of the year. ^_^ I love the October weather: cold, but unpredictably so, and the leaves all change color and there's HALLOWEEN! =D
I love Halloween. I love that people dress up and the mystery and tension in the air... Yay Halloween! ^^
To celebrate this Greatest Month of all Months, my roommate and I (I wrote roommage. XD It fits her I swear it O_O) are going to watch this HUGE slew of horror/thriller/mystery movies! =D And I'm going to review them all on my LiveJournal account. YAY!
These will include, but not be limited to:
Silence of the Lambs, Zodiac, Jacob's Ladder, Silent Hill, Saw, and the entire Paranoia Agent series.
I'm so excited. O_O
Scary movies horrify me.
We've already seen From Hell, Misery, The Ninth Gate, and Sleepy Hollow leading up to this. >> Most of those star Johnny Depp as it were. XD I'm sure I'll develop some nightmares somewhere along the way. I'm SO bad with scary. I can't even tell you. ^^

This is all to inspire me for NaNoWriMo of course! =D
My Mystery novel's plot is slowly (very slowly) developing!

The heroine is Marilyn Cuthwright, private investigator. The villian (you won't meet him till so much later) is named Asher Marcus Chevalier. He's going to kill 13 people total. 4 before Marilyn is assigned to the case, and 9 during her investigation (haven't decided if he'll kill himself or not) and he's going to call himself "The Grand Master" and after his 7th murder he's going to start leaving like... love notes? sort of? for Marilyn at the crime scene. Those will be signed "Love, Grand Master" and so he'll start off leaving them at the crime scene, then slowly hit closer to home. That'll make it thrillery, but then there will be other clues that she'll hone in on and I think it will be exciting. ^^ I'm looking forward to it! I've even got basic character outlines started. Once I finish my sheets I'll post the profiles for both of these characters under my NaNoWriMo page on this site.

Otherwise my classes are going alright. For some reason it seems like the only achedemic class I'm going to like will be Shakespeare, and that's the one with the horribly boring teacher that I didn't like from last quarter. T__T Sad. Math is boring because I do know the stuff, and the teacher is just terrible at really explaining things or at planning his classes in a way that fills them all evenly. And Intro to Poetry has a loud and engaging teacher, but he likes to give pretty much NO information and really... analysing poems is not something I enjoy in a classroom environment. T__T Oh well. I'm good at bullshitting things, I just hate having to do it.
Yoga rocks, of course. I like it because I go in being all stressed out because I'm a little late and had to walk SO fast SO far uphill across campus, but then we get through the warm up and start on the strength exercises and I start feeling all strong and flexible and start to relax and by the time we're having our cool down and lying on the floor all stretched out I feel so zen. ^^ It's nice. Not as exhilerating as dancing, but just as rewarding, if not more so.

And I would like to take a moment to PLUG Rachel's sketch journal because she's lovely and her art is amazing and it should be shared. So check it out: http://pineapple-meringue.blogspot.com/

That's really about all for now then. I'm sure I'll be updating, but you'll find more frequent updates on my Live Journal, though probably none about my life and more about what I'm currently watching. And I will not slack at being on Facebook watching my restaurant expand and keeping my mafia strong and wealthy. ^_^
Lots and lots of love!
Oh yeah, and Jason, that thing that freaked me out that one time? And a bit after that too? It's all good. No worries at all. ^___^ *vague* I hope you get what I mean otherwise I'll have to be like O___O but really, all good. And I love you.

As those of you in "the know" may know, this year, my NaNoWriMo story will be a mystery story! Bear with me, if you will, whilest I describe it and then check yourself out to my new page for NaNoWriMo and you can get your fill of details from there.
I'm trying to, without doing anything cliche or ridiculous, create a female character of the caliber of Sherlock Holmes. Stop rolling your eyes at me, Jason. >_<
Her name is Marilyn Cuthwright and she's the oldest MC I've created thus far. She's a 32 year old private investigator. Or, should I say, Private Investigator! =D
32's a good age so don't bug me about it. I want her to be mature without being entirely "past her prime." The story is modern, but not present. I haven't decided upon a date for it yet, let me know if you can help out with that, will you?
She's going to be blue eyed and blond with a flapper bob, just because, being blond, I like to stick up for the blonds and recently I've found brunette characters frustrating. >> I blame Twilight for that.
Anyway. She started off working as a waitress in a diner downtown where a guy frequented who was accussed of mudering his brother, and she was interviewed by the crime investigators. She was 22 at the time and with the minimal information they gave her she was able to figure out the entirety of the crime and was able to prove the suspect innocent in court. Then she helped out with different cases, another homicide with she was 23 and a major heist at age 26 after losing her waitressing job and was asked by a judge if she'd consider being a private investigator and she took the offer. Since then she's only had minor cases and has lived happily just outside the downtown area of the city in a condo with her brown-tabby maine coon cat named Walter.
The new case she gets is up for grabs, but I think I want it to involve sisters... I mused in the shower today about having one sister be the one who was killed, and she'd recently written the other sister out of her will after finding that the other sister had written her out of her own will after the sister had married the love of the other sister's life! =O ... yeah. Sorry if you couldn't follow that. It sounds like a soap-opera so far, but I thought I could work with something like that... there needs to be a bit of drama and suspense and danger and clues and deeper plots and the whole shindig.
And that's my plan! Please PLEASE feel free to help me out with that, yes? O_O ANYTHING you suggest is SO helpful. I have one month to plan this before I write, so plenty of tinkering can occur.

Other than that... today I tried playing Team Fortress 2! =D I mostly did it because Molly really wanted to play with someone she knew so I got Rachel to play too and we went on a server that my brother was on and yeah. ^^; That's what's up.
Turns out... I really didn't like it. V__V;
Don't hate me for that! I really don't like high-intensity shooters. I don't like first-person shooters at all. Besides that my computer was working slowly and so I just glitched along as a heavy. I couldn't aim properly because by the time my computer gliched the person into range they'd moved, and I was using my little brother's account so I had to keep telling people I was his sister and it just highlighted the fact that I suck. Sadness.

Otherwise, school is going lovely. I'll get to take yoga next week and I'm all signed up for Fast Fitness properly!
My biggest problem is that I KNOW I left more things here in Washington than there are. I'm just sure I left those fluffy slippers of mine and I thought I left running shoes... T__T; So now I need shoes I can run in and I don't have slippers and they didn't seem to be at Rachel's house, like a forgotten box or anything, so I honestly just don't know what's happened. It makes me feel forgetful and a bit antsy. I hate not knowing where things are. Too stressful. I'll sort it out in the next couple of weeks.

Also, I'm deep into the LiveJournal scene with movie reviews! It's getting impressive. >> I'll be having a huge horror and thriller section after this October I fear. XD

That's all for now. Sorry for the complaints! Much love!

I want to be famous, dammit! XD I'm submitting more poems to magazines...

So I posted a new poem. It's actually one of my haikus that's been extended for emphasis. I tried using another word other than cigarette, but it sounds best, so I kept it.
Speaking of which! I had my first Intro to Poetry class today! I like the teacher and the class seems fine, but I think I'm going to loath the subject just a little. It's all going to be group discussions of the poems we read, trying to break down meaning. He was quick to say that there's no "Hidden Meaning" but then I got to thinking about all the poems I've written that are entirely hidden meaning poems and I was like "...wait." He had a good point, I mean, if you are trying to convey a point then what's the point of hiding the point, but sometimes... I don't know. Writing is so fickle. It should be enjoyed, not analysed. That's what I think.

But I am writing again. More than over the summer.
For NaNo this year I'm tempted to write a mystery! I've never written one, but they've always been my favorite books to read. My favorite movies too. I adore mysteries and thrillers! I think that if I could write one it would be so much fun! So I'll try it and get frustrated with it later.

Also! I finally figured it out, but I dare someone to come up with the next number in this pattern:
5, 8, 11, 2...
I was stumped SO bad until the teacher was like "You have to think in more worldly terms than just adding and subtracting" and then I got it. ^_^
It helps if you don't think digitally.

Busy busy quarter ahead of me. I'll hardly have time for posting here, but I'll make the time.
Much love and hugs to all!

So I'm back in Cheney and school starts in the morning ^_^
This quarter I'm taking Shakespeare with Mr. Boring that I hated from last year, and that's at 10 in the morning. Then I have Math 115, which looks like mostly word problems and ratios and algebra stuff. Not too bad. I should survive. After that I have Yoga across campus on Mondays and Wednesdays, which I have 10 minutes to walk and it's a REALLY long way and uphill. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Intro to Poetry (Yay! I got into it! But the teacher's got horrible reviews on Ratemyprofessors.com and seems to have never taught this particular class before) And I've got Fast Fitness, which just means I need to go to the gym for 40 hours total this quarter. Altogether that's 18 credits. Wow.

That's the other thing I did, I signed up and wrote some reviews for old teachers that I'd felt strongly about. ^_^ I always find that it helps me be prepared if there are a LOT of different perspectives on the teacher, so I wrote down mine just to help out. Of course, not all my teachers actually left an impression on me I guess, but the ones who did I wanted to give opinions on. Good or bad depending. I tried to be unbiased, but that is hard with a biased review thing. XDD

I also met Rachel's puppy Mocha today. Cutie little thing! >3 About the size of a foot. XD She's a shitzu/maltese. Very cute. She likes to chew on my jeans. <3

I'm going to try to get some pictures of my room up soon. We've been hard at work buying posters and things because there's an awful lot of wall space and floor space but not much storage... We've worked it out brilliantly of course. We have Rachel's mom to thank for the layout. ^_^ And we have our fridge and our microwave and printer and fan as our electronic essentials. Our snack supply is stocked and the beds are comfy. ^^ Last night we watched Sleepy Hollow. The one with Jonny Depp. I'll have to review it on LJ...

I've tried not to think about missing people too much yet. For my sanity. When I was showering in the cold bathroom this morning I was thinking about it, and it is really sad to be so far away. Especially from Jason. But I'll be okay. ^^ I posted a poem that I wrote last year, and which I've recently changed the title of. I read it while I was on the plane and then revised it and now it's up for reading. Yay! It helps to have poetry as an outlit sometimes. But I'll deal with that more as the year progresses I'm sure.

Down to the wire with NaNo too! I need to start seriously thinking about what I'll be writing because October MUST be made a planning month. >> I'll work it out. I promise. Then I'll let you know.

^^ That's it for now then! Much love to all! Keep supporting me!

Now I'm obsessed with a new facebook application called Resturant City. T___T Oh tragedy. I get so into things. XD

I'm headed back to school in just one more day. I leave early on Monday, so it's just Sunday left and I really haven't even packed. I don't know that I'm sad about moving. I'm sad about my tooth still hurting for sure, but I want to see my new room and Rachel and get back in classes and everything. Even though people are making me feel guilty for leaving. I guess that's just sort of how it goes though. Always with the disappointing people. Or making people think I'm retarded. Now that I've got all these drugs I have to take it's sort of doubled the retardedness. Hopefully school is what will fix this problem.
Otherwise I guess I'm going to have to start getting over things or not noticing things or take up drinking or something. We'll see.

Anyway, if I sit down to rethink my life, I think all I'm going to find is that it's been very short and boring. I don't think "sheltered" is the right term. I know that technically I have been, but I do believe people choose for things to be the way they are in their lives. I know that most people have harder lives than I do, but I also know that you choose to take up drugs and you choose to kill people or ditch school or sleep around. I don't know. I won't get philosophical. I'm taking too much medication for that.

I did promise to get a poem up though... that's up now I do believe! ^^ Yay! And I took out some that need revision. You may be proud if you feel the need. Please let me know about any typos as they are, again, the fault of druggage. Darn root canal. Not even solving the problem. >>

Also watched The Lost Skeleton of Cadavre for my choice for bad-movie night and they liked it. I'm really glad they did. It's a ridiculous movie. I'll do a review of it for my LJ.

Love and hugs to all. I'm sure I need sleep...

I just got home from getting my root canal! =D It furthers my impression that my previous dentist is sh*t because these people were so nice and friendly and nothing hurt at all and it was lovely for a dentist appointment. ^_^ Of course, this was a specialist. But still...

So I should be feeling a lot better! I have to get a crown on my tooth, which always makes me think of this: LINK
But I think I'm going to need to get a dentist in Washington for that, because I'm definitly not going back to my regular dentist anymore. He's a twit. Doctor Whitney is a twit. And I'll need the crown before winter break anyway.

Otherwise America's Got Talent is finished again and I guess I'm going to have to start looking forward to The Biggest Loser again. XD
I'm also on an Iron Chef streak... all of this is going to change once I get to college and have no TV of course, but for now, you know?

I had more to say but I lost it. T__T So much medication. I feel like a cancer patient with all the stuff they keep giving me. T__T; We'll see how it goes.

I am working on a new poem currently! It's been written but I haven't revised it yet. It was mostly inspired by watching a lot of interviews with Pink, who is amazing and I adore her still. ^^ I might be getting that up fairly soon. Probably rework the poetry section tonight if it comes to that. ^_^

I just have the weekend left in Flagstaff, and today is my last day of working at Safeway. Then it's back to school and missing Jason for a while longer...

<3 Love to all <3

So these past few days have been teh suck. Also, I found out there was a date wrong on one of my archive posts >> But I don't know what date that was supposed to be. Ah well.
Anyway, I got a horrible tooth ache last Thursday night. Turns out that dentists in Flagstaff are only opened Mondays through Thursdays, so I couldn't go in to see a dentist till today.
Well today I go in to see him and he tells me it's a root canal. Great. Super suck.
So he drill the tooth and everything and then tells me to come back in an hour and he'll do the root canal. I say sure thing, leave, come back, and he numbs me up again (I haven't slept well in so long and I got NO sleep last night due to pain, plus I hadn't eaten, so the numbing stuff just made me feel sick.) And then discovers that no, he can indeed NOT do the operation that he said he could do because he lacks the equipment.
Freakin. Moron. I've hated this dentist forever and this is just more reason for that. He has to refer me to a specialist (DUH) and they can't get me in till Thursday. During a time I'm supposed to be working.
-____-; So I'm going to feel like crap until then still. Crap crap crap crap crap.
And I just started crying in the dentist office and he's a moron and it was all bad. I can't eat very much until after Thursday. T__T Total disappointment.

On a brighter(?) note I'm going to go see the doctor for some migrain medication soon here. *sigh*
I feel like I've already tried this whole "let's drug you up to make you feel "better"" thing before and I think it just made me loopy and feel horrible. I'm going downhill at this rate. I don't want to have to take more drugs. Uggg. This is why I'll never do bad drugs. I get plenty of bad ones from my doctors. V____V;

Anyway. I'm going to spend my day of SUCK working on getting more poems entered into contests. ^^; Wish me luck. We'll see how it goes.

So today I woke up, made coffee, and then answered the door in my PJs with my hair died the same color as the Little Mermaid's. It turned out to be a couple of old people trying to talk to me about religion. XD Gooood times. I told them I wasn't interested and the guy was like "Aren't interested in what?" so I said, "I'm not interested in whatever religious group you're a part of." and he asked if I'd ever thought about God and I said that I'd thought about it a lot, and I'd finally discovered that I'm definitly an athiest and it was really nice to see them this morning and that they should have a nice day and then I closed the door.
These things I am so proud of. T^T The missionaries failed in their attempt to convert the devil child. I predict this will be a good day. =D

I did decide to get another poem up. I'll be posting that as soon as I finish with this. It's the one that I wrote specifically for the contest that two of my other poems got in to. XD

Other than that I've been busily updating my LiveJournal account and trying to get into a lot of movie reviewer groups. I figure if I'm going to watch movies, I might as well review them, and if I'm going to review them then I should really do it on the LJ account I'm not using for anything else. ^^ If you happen to have a LJ and could check mine out and tell me what would help my reviews to be more helpful, that would be nice. Because I'd like to give good movie advice... Also, any movie you'd suggest that I should watch and review, that'd be cool too!

I have a sunflower in a jar here. I think it's going to end up being a picture... >> I'm gonna go do that and post it... give me about three minutes...

Earl decided he needed to be part of the picture also. ^^ But there's the shot! There were a couple, but this one has a cat in it so it's +1. ^^

And I guess that's all for the day! Happiness to you all!

So today I discovered that the real reason I like my job so much is that I really just enjoy sticking stickers to things, and Safeway allows me the opportunity to do this quite frequently. ^^ In fact, the more stickers that can be stuck on a single package, the better. Stickers are the best of life's simple pleasures.

Otherwise I'd like to announce that I'm definitly out of my funk, feeling better after a major migrain, and it's been raining! ^^ I love the rain. But the fair is this weekend, and I was planning to go tomorrow. >> Stupid rain. Can't rain while I'm sick and want to sit around feeling miserable and watching the rain. No. It waits till I'm healthy and want to have an outdoor activity.

I have a new plan for a short story! It's going to be a lesbien story. O_O; Why? I dunno. It just came up in my head one day and it seemed like a good idea. We'll see how it goes, because both girls end up with guys. But it might be real good. Maybe one of these days I might even revise Stones so that it's written properly! =D Who knows? I could be on a roll here one of these days!

For now I'd like to go to World Market and buy a hat. >> I heard they had hats on sale I might like, so I think I should take a shower and drag my boyfriend along to that... I like hats. I don't wear them but, like stickers, I do enjoy them.

I guess that's it then. I just had a converstation about how fast I type. XD I do type very, very fast. I'm proud of it. Now I'm going. Enjoy your night.

=D It's like a dream come true!
I'm getting published again! O_O Two poems! To a freakin' legitimate magazine! Here's the site: http://blog.poetsofmars.com/?page_id=26
That's right: It's a poetry contest. And I made it to the final round. ^^ The prize for winning is a full $100!!! For a poem! O_O HOW COOL IS THAT? And because I made it they're going to be published in their magazine! I'm pretty much giddy! >3
The poems that they accepted are "Let Me Keep The Morning" and "I Love Sitting Under Stars" the former of which is about staying up late on school nights (secretly XD) and the later is actually about making out in the back seat of my car (also secretly) XD I am so ashamed! Haha! But I'm glad they liked them! =D

I can't even flail enough! I never once thought this could happen and I really do have Duotrope to thank. Anyone trying to get published PLEASE check out this website because it finds places you can get published at and if you send to enough you can make it! =D WHOO!

And today started out so sucky too! XD
Last night I got a migrain at about 11:00pm and I've been so drugged up since then but it still hurts. I also had to go in to work at 7am even though its my day off because they needed help, so I went to work super early with a migrain. Turns out they didn't really need me and I left by 9:30am, then my bird was having a freak-out and I was super crabby and was going to go back to bed for the rest of the day, and POOF! An e-mail of acceptance.  T^T I weep for joy.
Not that I don't still desperately need sleep, but maybe I should just take a shower and stay up at this point, because I'm too psyched to sleep now! X

There was another good thing, yesterday I found my song! O_O; I'd heard it twice on the radio and adored it, so I waited for it to come on the radio all yesterday, and then finally it did, and I found the song, and it was Fireflies by Owl City (who the heck is that?) and it's the cutest song ever, and you can find the music video by clicking on the link beneath my song quote of the week! ^^

So... yay! Now I'm going to go shower! MUCH LOVE TO ALL!

So I found out that the reason I've been so moody is actually because the stupid pill I'm taking actually makes my body think that it's pregnant (to prevent pregnancy? What the crap?) and so I get all the same chemical changes as a woman in her first few months of pregnancy. T__T What the crap?!?! I guess that explains how ill I've felt and also the grumpiness but WHAT? This sucks! I hate feeling like this, and I certainly hadn't noticed it till recently. This is insane. I weep.

Well anyway. At the moment I'm more interested in Mafia Wars. XD I discovered I could declare war on Laurel, so I did, but now I'm stressing out trying to recruit people to help me out so I don't lose this war. XD I swear this isn't consuming my life. >> Some people just have normal online games and I have Mafia Wars. Don't judge me.

I am serious about putting up a photo gallery. I was thinking about it and I think it would be a good idea, you know? I like taking artistic pictures, and this website does need more stuff. I just don't know... would it detract? Would anyone look at it? I'm contimplating.

And I am eating Bruschetta! It's excellent on bagel crisps with mozzarella cheese. Yes indeed. This is not a craving, btw, I just wanted something to eat and this is tasty and warm.

I like warm things to eat and drink because this house is always so freakin' cold! O_O; I can never tell what I'll need to wear outside because year-round I need a hoodie indoors, so I'll be wearing long pants and step outside and BAM! 90degrees in the sun and I just sweat. T___T Nasty.

So far this has been an awkward journal. I'm having some sort of weird trouble typing. I've been really tired recently. I suspect I can blame that on the pill, but I'm just blaming things on the pill at the moment, so it might not all be it's fault. (It totally is its fault when I randomly just get horribly upset and cry for hours. What the crap?)

Okay. That's really going to be it for now. I'm so un-poetic you could stab me with a sonnet! =D Oooh! Poet joke! Not a good one either! XD

Anyway, that's it. Tell me what you think about a photography gallery! Cheers!

Yesterday I had a lovely girl's-night-out with my mother and we got sushi and then went to see Julie and Julia (sparking a massive movie review update on my Live Journal and also making me wonder if I'm actually any good at reviewing these movies... I'm trying not to give away plots...) which was fabulous in every way. After that I went over to Jason's and we watched the last two episodes of season 1 of Being Human, which is a British show about a ghost, a werewolf, and a vampire sharing a flat. No really, it's good. ^^

Now I'm sitting at my computer eating french toast, which is yummy, and drinking hot cocoa and waiting around for the guy to come fix our oven. He'll be here between 1 and 5. T___T I hate repairmen.

So I managed to scan in that picture I drew and now I'm in the process of working on coloring it! Yay! I hope I can get it posted by the end of today. That would be awesome. I wish I was working on writing the new outline for Epilogue, but at least I'm engaged in SOME creative endeavor!

Otherwise I can't really say there's much going on. I feel like I've been really in and out of a funk recently. Very minor things set me off into what I'd like to call "numb mode" but really it just means I'm about one bad step away from sobbing hysterically for a half hour. I do NOT know what's up with that. It is not that time of the month and really work hasn't been anything but mildly boring recently. I might not be getting enough sunlight, so I've been trying to sit outside for a couple hours, or at least a half hour each day. Anyway, I am trying to fix it, I just seem to have an awful lot to cry about as of recent. But that's okay. There's dancing tonight and for the first time in weeks I feel 100% healthy! ^_^ Knock on wood, will you?

I hope everyone is having a lot of fun back in school! I can't pretend I'm not a bit jealous. I do like school. Even when I'm hating it, it's always better than having nothing to do at all or than having to go to work. I also miss beautiful EWU, although I can appriciate Flagstaff for another three weeks just fine. ^^

Okay. That's all. If you haven't seen poetry since it's been up please go look, otherwise there aren't any drastic changes up yet. Sorry! There will be things coming, I promise. Just let me finish this drawing first. ^^

Love and hugs!

 <---- cuuuuutest!

First of all, just so everyone knows, if I ever get super powers or rule the world or come into any means of power, the bitch in the white car that was getting towed by the moron driving 5 miles an hour on a 40 road is going to die. Seriously. I wish her dead. Because not only did the tow truck cut me off as SOON as I tried to speed up around it, and not only did she not have her turn signal on but her blinkers instead, but she honked and flipped me off! I did it right back of course, but she caused my perfect strawberry cheesecake to get ruined and thus just ruin yet another happy mood, making it another crappy day.
Just saying...

But it did turn out to be a good day after all. ^_^ I've been really upset and cry-y lately, which has no explaination other than that I'm over worked and have little time to myself when I'm not doing something important. BUT!
Today was the one year mark of Jason's and my relationship. <3 ^_____________^-
That's right. One year ago today he confused me and then asked me to go to the Reel Big Fish concert.
And it has been a wonderful year. And it was followed up with a wonderful day at the lake (I got off work at 3, ruined the cheesecake, cried for an hour, then we went to the lake and everything turned better) and it was great. No details, it just cheered me right on up again. ^_^ Jason's a romantic. Let it be known.

Now I'm sitting at home eating. I notice that I haven't been eating much. Maybe that's what my whole mood was about. I've been eating sparatically and then taking a vitamin at night to make sure I'm not going to keel over. Not good. So maybe eating will help. I'll try not to get fat. XD

I have been drawing again! Surprise surprise! ^_^ Actually, I found a REALLY old picture that I never posted that's  good, and that's up on my DA now. It's of Mei and Tosharo as women. XD See, canonically Mei has to dress up as a woman, so I wanted to draw it, but then I wanted to draw Tosharo too because I'm cruel. XD I probably did this last summer or senior year. >>

I drew something recently too, just last Friday. I drew a girl who was all lonely and sad. It's majorly a perspective picture, but somehow it managed to turn out as considerably less than a disaster! If only I could get the hands right and get it scanned in then I'd color and post it. I don't know who it is. Maybe it's me. I was feeling like that a bit. :(
Yeah, so I'm back in the artistic business, if work doesn't kill me first. I have 40 hours coming in this week and it ain't gonna be pretty, I can tell you that. XD

Advice for the day? Go with the flow, man. And when the flow says "F--- you!" F--- it right back, and then bring yourself back down to earth and realize people still love you. ^_^-

There's a hypnotist at NAU today and I think I'm going to have to go see after work. ^^
So we shall see if that's at all interesting.

I think I want to start drawing again. I'll have to spend some time working on that. It'd be nice to have new concept art up for my characters because I've decided that instead of working on something totally different I'm going to rewrite Epilogue for NaNoWrimo (which, have you seen the new icons? There's like a machine theme this year! Cool!)
I'm not sure how I feel about seperate perspective stories, but I think it would be the best way to go about writing this one. I want to switch between Tosharo, Kitty, Ansen, Raven, and Dyista's perspectives and I think that's going to end up being more fun to write and highly effective (it's a critical hit!) so I'm story-boarding it now, and hopefully I'll get it done and be able to have Jason read it for me so it makes sense, then I'll be writing it for NaNo. ^_^
I'll let you know when, but the whole page for Epilogue is going to be altered and the characters are getting slight (some more dramatic) make-overs. For example, I'm going to make Ansen the bar owner... gonna have to work that out, redesign the setting. Raven's probably going to get a name change, I just don't know what it is yet, and Dyista's going to get an in-depth profile.

Also, looked up my teachers, and I do believe I'm going to enjoy this quarter! I think I'm going to have to do some serious work, but I think it'll be good for me. Good distraction.

Now I have to get off to work, so that's all the update for now! Sorry to all you suckers who are back in school! I've got another month of freedom! Whoot!

So now I guess this makes me a published poet, huh? I'm super excited! ^^ Thirty First Bird Review has published my poem "Cure" ... which I guess they thought had religious implications. >> It's actually about tea, but I'm totally fine with that! ^^ I'm still up on the web, and there's even a lovely bio of me up with a link to this website, so maybe I'll be getting traffic? Maaaaybe?

Anyway. Things have been going on. A LOT has been going on, not all of which will be written here because I literally have 5 minutes till I have to leave for work.

First! Saw two movies this weekend:

Ponyo- Cuuuuute movie! If you like Miyazaki movies, it's as though the obvious messages of Princess Mononoke or Nausicaa were put into the lighthearted children's story feel of Totoro. If Spirited Away or Howl's Moving Castle are your favorites of his movies you could be offset by this one, although he does not at all skimp on the art. The movie is beautiful and strangely scientifically accurate for how fantastical it is. There are a LOT of birth images (such as when Ponyo's father puts her in a bubble and her guppy-like sisters nom her out so she can turn herself into a real human) and a very obvious anti-pollution message, but if you don't let yourself get bogged down by that the characters are charming and the story is great. I do wonder if some parts wouldn't make more sense subbed than dubbed however...

District 9- I don't know what category this falls in. It's SciFi because it involves aliens, Action because there is an awful lot of weapon use and running about, Documentary because that's the style it's done in, and Drama because... of all the drama. This isn't a movie you're going to laugh through, though I'm going to have to say I'd give it Best Picture of the year in a heartbeat. It's intense and meant to give you a clear metaphor. I cried at the end. It is not, as I was originally told, directed by Peter Jackson, he's just the producer, it's directed by Neill Blomkamp who really hasn't directed anything big yet. I'm going to compare this movie to City of God because I had the same reaction to them. You should go see it, and I garentee it's going to be good, but I can't garentee you're going to enjoy it.

And that's my review for the week! ^_^ I bow.

I got an MRI on my shoulder (this is a day after the first half of this message) which was entirely boring and just made my back hurt worse. I don't know why my back started hurting in the first place of course, but it's pretty bad as of recent. Jason said he'd give me a massage, so I guess I'll be okay ^___^-
Anyway, the MRI wasn't like, full body. There was a big thick disk above my upper half and my shoulder went in a sort of large ring and then I was just supposed to lie on my back with my head turned to the right and be perfectly still for two intervals of fifteen minutes while the machine made a lot of angry knocking and clicking noises at me. XD It was weird. I couldn't quite fall asleep, but I sure did when I was done. Sooooo tired. I go in tomorrow for the results. ^^

So I guess that's all then. I'm going to go take me a shower and then go have a lovely day. ^_^ Hope you enjoy my reviews. Go see these movies if you have not already, okay?

 Oh my god I'm getting published! =D WHOOHOO!!! <3
It's an online literary publication... and admittedly it's a bit religious, but it's still a publication! =D My poem Cure is going to be on it! I'm so excited! This is the site: Thirty First Bird Review. I don't know how soon it'll be up, but it's still awesome! ^_^ I'm sure I'll have a little celebration for it or something. <3

I had an interesting dream last night. Or this morning after I got up, found out I was ill, and went back to sleep after calling in sick to work.

There was actually a long series of dreams, but they all sort of connected.
The premise was that I was at school (like, my old elementary school type of place) and I had to get home, so I was walking home with Jason and Megan and my little brother, and then at some point we aquired a car that wasn't my car, because I was too sick to drive so we'd left it at the school. So Jason drove me home in that other car, and I kept freaking out because he didn't have a liscence. But we got home safe.
Then he told me he'd go back to the school and get my car for me, so I gave him the keys.
Well, somehow he got pulled over, and then they arrested him for Grand Theft Auto (XD) and we were in a court room with all these like, redneck conservative people who were calling for him to be excecuted, and the lawyer was like "You're all insane! He's not guilty!" but it turned into a riot and the lawyer got all angry, but then this woman in the crowd was all happy and siding with him and saying that the whole community was corrupt! Then she got shot in the face and everything went slow-mo, because somehow she deflected the bullet with her hand and then got really vicious for a while.
Well, she and the lawyer had a thing and they both went on to form a group against the corrupt people and government with some other believers. ^_^
Well, we got Jason out somehow, but my house had been sold and they were auctioning off our stuff! Part of that was okay, but there was some things we were really upset about, so we snuck onto the stage of our own auction and stole back a bunch of stuff, and people got really mad at us, and ultimately this old insane drunk guy was chasing us down this long hall (I think it was my brothers, Jason, me, Elaine, and maybe Cayley at this point) and everyone made it out of the glass doors and safe from the guy except Jason, who he was shooting at, but somehow he evaded the bullet!
We all made it outside and the guy couldn't get out (like a video game stage or something. XD) and there was some sort of festival going on so there were people everywhere. Jason looked really old, but I was so happy he wasn't dead, so we had a moment, then he got young again.

It was a good dream actually. ^^

There were other parts that didn't quite connect, like when we were at this geek-hastings-convention thing with tents of geek stuff and I couldn't find anything I wanted because there was no JTHM so I ended up at the checkstand with Elaine and we were both buying a lot of weird stuff and the checkstand guy was really cute, but like, somehow I kept having a problem with everything I wanted to buy? Weird...
I don't remember much else. I don't even know what we were doing at the school...

It was still an awesome dream. ^^ Happy ending. It made me happy that Jason was taking care of me while I was sick. <3

Hey look! My mother just bought me The Corpse Bride! I like that movie. Maybe I'll watch it tonight. I have a lot of manga I need to read before I do other things, but I'll still watch it. ^^

Oh! And the movie Time Bandits, while you're watching it it's all nice and enjoyable, but that movie sucks! O_O; The big actors aren't even remotely important, and the plot is weak, and the message is obvious but also badly supported at the same time. And in the end the kids parents get blown up and his house gets burned down and that's just... it. What the heck? O_O Ending SUCKED. Worst ending EVER and I'm not lying. Just don't see it. It was too disappointing. T__T;

That's all then. ^^ Cheerios!

My cousin left today. T__T I shall miss you Elaine!!! We had some really good times. >>
We watched all three seasons of the British comedy show The Mighty Boosh in under a week. O_O; Holy chips! Here's a picture of the two main dudes, Howard Moon and Vince Noir. :3

Vince is the cute one. >> We found ourselves very appriciative of him. ^_^
We did other things too, but that's a real highlight I'm afraid. XD We went to Slide Rock twice. That was awesome.

My shoulder really hurts and it's distracting me. >_> I think I knocked my shoulder weird. Been sleeping on a blow-up mattress for a week and then I had work, so I'm sure there's a logical explaination for this pain. T__T; So sad. I want it to get better now.

Also today is the day after the full moon! AHROOOOO!!!!! =D I think it made people a little crazy. >_> At work people were seriously insane. Like, MORE bizzare customers than usual. It was really disturbing. These two older dudes came in and wanted a dozen donuts. First they made a big deal about what the price was, then they wanted three dozen donuts, but didn't want to package them themselves. Neither did they want any of the prepackaged ones. They wanted three dozen plain glazed donuts. V___V; So I had to find them all and package them specially for them. It super sucked. That and an awful lot of people who wanted you to notice them when your back was turned but didn't want to say anything, so you'd be doing something and someone would be lurking, staring at you, and you'd turn around and LO! A person who wants... what? No not something like, USEFUL, but they want to know where the donut case is (Behind you, you idiot!) or if we carry something obscure, or how old the bagels are. T___T I weep.

Either way, I'm writing again. I have no excuse really I guess. I have some time now and I do have a lot to write! =D We'll see...

Okay. I get to go get some chinese food now so this is all the update I can do at the moment. ^^
Love and hugs to all and sorry I haven't been around recently. Watch The Mighty Boosh! =D

So today, the power did not go out at Safeway.
I was terribly disappointed.
Especially after all the booming thunder that I could hear! It must have been a fantastic storm. I'm very jealous.

So stupid things happening at Safeway:
There's this thing they make someone from each department do every day. You basically have to do the courtesy clerk's job (what do they do all day now??) and make sure the aisles are clean and bring in carts from the parking lot and stuff like that. It takes an hour. It's ridiculous.
Well, only Bridgit, the cake decorator, and I were working when they called us to do it and I had a customer (admittedly I was finishing up with said customer) so I ignored it. And she ignored it too, because it's stupid and we were both really busy today.
Well about five minutes after she's gone home for the day I get a call from the front end asking me why neither of us had come to do the courtesy walk. I told them we were both busy and didn't have time and the girl got all uppity and said she'd have to write us up for it. Which made me mad. It's so stupid. We were legitimately busy, even if we were just blowing it off. She said she'd be back later to talk to me about it, and I thought "fine. I'll just have a good excuse ready when she comes and if she gets on my case I'll ask to have Karla there when I get written up." because Karla loves me and I know she'd believe that I was really busy, because seriously? If I had done this thing I wouldn't have had time to clean the back today, and it needed it.
Well she never showed up. >_____>
I anticipated her coming for what? Four hours? Nothing. It was so irritating. I got all clumsy because I was distracted by thinking how to word my excuse and practicing not taking her crap and nothing. T___T;
I even got all antsy whenever a manager passed by but they never even came over. It was so weird.
I dropped all sorts of stuff and hit my head several times and knocked off my hat. V___V I'm so disoriented when I think I'm going to be in trouble. It ruined my day. Which had been pretty good before that.
Lucky I only had to work six hours.

I wish I knew who had called though. I still don't know. She never said. I don't know if she was a manager or just an uppity moron. There's also the possibility that Bridgit was still in the store and either told her off or took the fall for me. I don't know. I had no news. Just packaged and cleaned until everything looked really nice. ^_^;
Is there a law against writing someone up for something they did 24 hours ago? Like, is there an expiration date for writing someone up? Because if not she could be lazy and writing me up tomorrow. Which would suck so bad. I am certain you have to be present when they write you up, otherwise it would accomplish nothing, right?
So I guess I just won't worry about it. She's probably just some stupid person who was angry and got over it. Hopefully.

Other than that... my life has included dinner with the girls (most of which were guys), seeing the Director's Cut of the Watchmen (which is FANTASTIC!!!) and getting interupted by people showing up on my doorstep, reading poetry under a gazebo in the rain, and reading a ridiculous amount of yaoi. (I recommend Wild Rock <3 VERY hot!)

Still no new word back from teh journals and magazines, so still no posting my poetry, but I assure you I'm writing it!

And hey... having a poetry club type meeting sometime this week would be so lovely... maybe I'll arrange it! ^^

Also, fans of Harry Potter, Japan, or comedy should see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Y4CUpscWs&feature=channel_page

Ok, that's all! Good night! <3

Chivalry is dead? Pfft! And I'll say it again; PFFT!
Something isn't dead just because you choose to ignore it, and there is a difference between being a knight in shining armor and just walking your girlfriend outside to her car.
I don't know.

My ear's just a little bit infected. I've been forgetting to clean it and now it's going to be a bit of a problem for a little while. Also, work may be draining me just a little. I'm really, REALLY enjoying my job and having a good time, but it makes me feel so bad when I don't get everything done before I leave, and people are complete douchbags. The problem is that they go out of their way to be. If you're going to have someone from the Deli call me out from trying to clean up in the back room just to ask me where the French Bread is (which would then be DIRECTLY BEHIND YOU) just so you can complain that it's a half hour after it's supposed to be fresh and it's not still hot, I'm going to be pissed. That's just how it goes.
I hate those people. They deserve to be hit by a car or shot. Because really? You have to make someone else's day worse just to feel better about yourself? I don't care if you think you're funny, keep it in your think skull, will you?

Actually, that's a good rule in general.
What ever happened to "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? When did our generation decide that it was more acceptable to be a douchbag than to go with that? People could at least TRY to give half a care about other people.

I've written a lot of poetry recently. ^_^ I'm not sure if any of it's good... I keep trying to get other people to read it, but I still can't post it online and every time I try something else seems to get in the way. I'm a bit upset about it actually. But I want to get published, so I keep sending stuff in and keep not being able to post... it's a tedious process and not so rewarding. T__T I just want poetry. I want it all. I want to write it, I want to read it, I want to recite it, I want it to be read, I want it to be flying everywhere in the wind, for people to walk outside and catch paper floating by and read poetry aloud off of it.
... I want that...

"Lead Me On" by Eric Clapton has been stuck in my head on and off for a while now. He's right about something. I can hear it.

I hear it because for some reason, I'm still standing alone on the sunny side of the windowpane.

Tomorrow I'm just going to sort of take a day off for myself. I need it. I've been working as hard as I can, and I really would like to lie out in the sun again soon. And there are some movies that would make me happy to watch, such as THE WATCHMEN DIRECTOR'S CUT which I've been working late and couldn't see but which nothing shall stop me from watching tomorrow. ^_^

My arm hurts. A lot of things hurt. I broke a toe and for some reason, although I thought it healed it likes to act up every now and then, and my bruised toe still hurts. Now my arm's messed up. I guess it's not sympathy that I want, just caring. That's all. It'd be nice if me getting hurt was a little bit more of an issue than him not looking bad for it.
I have to stop breaking. Tomorrow there's not reason to break. I'll just completely relax and nothing can hurt me. Then I'll be in my really good mood again like I was until last night.

Also, I'm looking for a poem that I believe was about a lighthouse that Mrs. Hester used to have up on her wall at one point. It was on a poster and I adored it. It was short... like maybe two stanzas, and I think it turned out that it was a song, but I never found the song at the time and I've forgotten the poem. I really want to memorize it again. It was brilliant.

Much love to you all! I'm going to kill this fly and then go do something else... like stretch.

O_< AOL is trying to change things on my computer but my AIM isn't even turned on! Sneaky piece of crap >> I'm watching you!!

So I've failed you all; my room is still a mess. T__T Sorry.
I've been busy, no doubt about that, but I haven't cleaned so I apologize.

I actually have to be leaving for work in less than five minutes, but I thought I should at least mildly update.
I've LEGALLY DOWNLOADED O_O a few new movies and shows that I'm excited to see. Hopefully I'll have a good chance for that, but if not I've got them for college next year! XD
Tonight I think will be the night I finally get the mess in my room situated. I work till 8 tonight then I'll fix it all up.

Other than that, of 13 magazines and journals I sent poetry to I have 5 rejections. T___T Ouch. But apparently that's more than normal, so I'm bearing with it. I'll have to try to send more stuff in tonight. ^_^

Sorry this is so short. Really got to go to work... I still have a lot of eye liner on from Molly's Undead-themed party last night. XDDD Haha!

Okay! Love and bye!

I've got to apologize to anyone who read my previous rant. >> Chalk it up to hormones if it bothered you.

Since that time I've started work, which I do enjoy even though it looks like I'll be getting less than 20 hours a week. >> My feet hurt because of it. XD
My toe seems to have healed and I even went dancing, in heels mind you! and it didn't hurt! =D It was a glorious amount of fun. <3 I love dancing. I think I've been a little off, but maybe I'll get enough sleep and be better for next week! ^^
I also have increased the number of places I've sent poetry in to by 150%! Yay! (That sounds better than it really is, just FYI)
And I've mostly cleared the clutter from my desk off it. Pay no attention to the fact that it's all now on the floor. >>

I've been writing more poetry, and I wrote a little bit for All We Sought For, which I think I'll update so it has EVERYTHING I've written up to this point, although I know it's almost impossible to read as it is. XD And it's completely unrevised.
Still, what I've got will be up there! And maybe I'll start seriously working on it again. >>

I thought of what my NaNoWriMo story should be also. ^_~ We'll see if I'm still interested when it comes to it, but it should be cool! I'd explain it, but Jason completely made fun of me when I was describing it to him, so *sigh* I won't. XD

Also, I'd post the poetry I've written, but I can't until I get word back from the magazines and journals I've sent them to! So I have to wait. I'm sorry. T__T; But I'll keep writing it so I can put it all up once I get notice!

To make up for the last one being long, this will be short.
The only changes to the site are that I've added to All We Sought For, and that there's a new poll! =D

Love to all!

I hope everyone's fourth of July went well. I was having a really great day dispite the insane rain storm.
This dispite the fact that after going on and on about how I should strive to be Poet Laureate, my mother told me she wasn't going to help me get published. >_>
Now, I think she misunderstood me and thought I meant that I wanted to self-publish only and she thought that would be really expensive. But seriously? Then she goes off about how I've barely even tried yet and I should just try to get myself published in magazines and journals before that. What the heck?! It's one thing to be realistic, but COME ON! She wants me to go on to be The Poet Laureate but she doesn't even want me to have my own book published and totally shoots me down without even considering it at all? Thanks for the support.
This is why I don't write enough and I know it. I know it is.
I get no feedback because people are really more concerned with themselves and I understand and I don't blame them and I don't want to be pushy or impose or anything, but no feedback at all. "That was good!" Well gee, thanks. That didn't even help my ego.
I don't really get any encouragement either. No one ever says "Hey, have you written anything lately? I'd like to read it!" Never. Really never in my life I'm sadly afraid. I could be missing incidents, but they left no impression I guess.
My parents don't even want to read anything of mine at all unless I hand it to them directly and ask them to read it. Then they tell me it's good and that's it and they don't want to know if I've written anything else. It's disheartening.
The most motivating thing that's happened recently is when I said I'd remembered something I wanted to show my boyfriend his first guess as to what it was was that I got published. <3 That was unbelievably sweet. Unfortunately a bad guess, but still really sweet.
But seriously? She's going to shoot me down for trying to get a poetry book published like I've been hoping to do for the past 3 years and finally thought I'd found the motivation to go through with?
Well fuck that! What the heck? UGH!

I'm mad at my mother today. Sorry. That's where all this is coming from.
I spent all of Independence Day being social with my family and being helpful and cheerful even though I'm still limping on a broken toe, and I didn't even complain when they tried to take us to see a concert in the rain, which we left promptly. I was having a really good day altogether!
But in the evening, once the rain all stopped, we decided to light a fire outside and roast marshmellows. All the wood was wet, but I'm patient, so I started the fire up anyway and then told my mother to leave it alone and I'd watch it. Well, she said we should put paper on it to encourage it to burn and I said it was going okay and to just wait.
Once I'd limped back into the house, she went right on out and put newspaper all over it! What the heck?
So of course it blazed nicely, but then the newspaper burned out and took all the flame with it, including that off of the pieces I'd gotten burning.
So I start over, find some drier kindling this time, and then my mother AND brother come out to tell me how I've got my fire built all wrong and of course the sopping wet wood isn't going to burn if I have it stacked that way! What the heck? Well I got it burning again anyway and was going to wait with it, since it wasn't even remotely dark out yet, and she comes out and piles dry pinecones on it. After the third time I'd told her to leave it alone because it was my fire and I was going to keep it burning.
She just takes it over! Like she always does! Because she has to be the hero. Every time, and if she's not then it's just no good anyway.
This is how it's always been! This is how I was raised. If you're thinking that, well, that sounds just like you, Kaye, well you're right. Where could I possibly have learned it from?
I got really upset after that. I got really, miserably and noticably upset.
I did try to be the better person and I still enjoyed the fire and roasted marshmellows, but it's not like it was my fire anymore, so there was nothing to be proud of.
I gave myself a headache by being mad. Serves me right, huh? But by that point my toe was really hurting too and the whole thing about her saying she wouldn't help me get published was really getting to me again too.

Well, after she told my brothers that I was mad at her for "pwning her fire" I'd had enough and locked myself in my room and watched Wonder Boys, which put me in a great mood. By that time it was almost midnight so I came upstairs again because I wanted oatmeal, and as expected my brother had the internet so I couldn't get online and work off the inspiration I'd had.
Unexpectedly, my mother was still awake! And she decided to stay awake until almost 1 in the morning! What the crap? And did she ever think to apologize for upsetting me? No. No that would make her not the hero, and we couldn't have that. She didn't even try to talk to me. At all.
She's my freaking mother and she can't apologize that she first ruined and then took over my fire and upset me?
I know she's never been good at the whole comforting thing. I've never gotten a hug from her just because I looked like I was having a bad day unless it was a sarcastic one because she'd been the one who was mean to me and had thought it was funny, or so she could trap me and tell me about how I was in the wrong anyway.
Not that my dad is any different. But really?
I guess that all explains me. The psychiatrist writes down that I wasn't loved enough as a child and diagnoses me with something they can give me a handful of drugs for. Disgusting.

Jonny called today... and Will... left a message that was something about a party, but my phone didn't ring, so I texted Jonny back. Didn't get his second call either and didn't want to call back. I was in a bad enough mood that I didn't even want to go to a party. Somehow today managed to suck after how good it was.
I didn't even want to call back. I may be a terrible person for that. I feel like a terrible person.
Maybe I need more sleep. I could just be hormonal or something. I just really need a hug.

I wish I could walk. I want my toe to stop hurting. I want to go dancing.

I'm sorry. There's more crappy news. Maybe this was part of the setup for my breakdown too.
My family is sort of planning a trip to San Bernadino which we would apparently leave for Monday. The problem is; my training for Safeway is Monday morning. And hell if I know if they're going to put me on the schedule for next week. Chances are they aren't. But if they are I can't go. It's also four days away from Flagstaff, and Jason hasn't been doing well and I know I spend more than half the year away from him already...
But it would be sailing! I'd be in California on a sailboat on the ocean. It's like a dream! I want to go! I want to go so badly! I want to forget about absolutely everything, EVERYTHING, and just relax on a sailboat. Just have a proper, beautiful vacation.
I know I'd be letting Jason down since I'd be out of town, and I'd be letting Cayley down since I wouldn't be having a Tanabata party, but Tanabata falls in August this year anyway I'm pretty sure, and I'll see Jason again soon, and I can have another party before Cayley leaves...
The only problem would be freakin' Safeway because I don't know if I'll be working or not. It's so stupid. They don't even want me. They're only doing this for Karla. They're going to ruin everything and I know it.

I want to clean my room. All the way, not just bits and pieces. I want to write. I want to really really write. I want to make a book and publish it and hold it against my chest and know that every word inside is mine.
I want someone to come and take me away, because no matter how far I try to run myself I keep coming back and Flagstaff is great but it just keeps making me miserable somehow...
I don't want to have to drive anymore. I want to walk without pain. I want to stretch and run and for there to be enough sun out for me to tan.
I want a day when I have nothing to do at all and I don't have to extend any effort at all.

I want to be a good writer.
I want people to like me.
Right now, I can't handle being made fun of.
I can't handle losing anymore.

I want to know if my writing is worth something; if I'm any good.
I need to know and I need to be sure and I need people to read what I write and to care and to enjoy it

and I can't do it right now...
I'm just too blocked up I guess.

Sorry for just complaining. I know how few people read this anyway. I'm really sorry.

I finished all of Ryuusei no Kizuna! T^T Which I SO highly recommend! Here's the show poster thingy:

The middle guy of which you will recognize from the movie Letters from Iwo Jima, and also from the Japanese boy band Arashi!
The story of Ryuusei is different from most of the chick-flick type deals I've been watching like Hana Yori Dango and Koizora.
Ryuusei no Kizuna, which translates to "bound by shooting stars" roughly, is the story of three siblings whose parents were murdered mysteriously while they had slipped out of the house late at night to watch the shooting stars. They vowed to find the killer themselves and kill him, but as the stature of limitations for the police to catch the culprit begins to run out, they start getting desperate for clues.
It sounds dark, but it's really very funny and the acting is shockingly amazing for a 10 part TV drama. The romance is at a minimum, but there's enough of it in there for the romantics without chasing anyone else away. Mostly it's funny, and if you enjoy mysteries you're going to love it.

I haven't done terribly much else.
Somehow I managed to break my toe, but I really have no insight about that. I just sort of woke up Sunday morning and it hurt a whole freakin' lot.

Then I walked on it a lot, made it worse, and it hurt worse on Monday. T__T; So I sat around watching the Nana movies! =D Here, both movie posters:


A different girl plays Nana K in both movies. >> Weird. Nana O is the same, Yasu and Nobu are the same, Shin's different (I perfer him in the second movie, though I like the Nana K of the first movie better) also a new Ren! The second one looks so old. It's weird. XD Yuna Ito plays Reira still and she's fantastic. XD I love how she just speaks english. It's cute.

Looks like this was my major picture day. O_o;
It's okay. Every picture is linked to a trailer. ^_^

O_O Enough with links and such! I'm not an advertisement company! If I were, I'd have both money and viewers! T^T
I have neither...

But I'm planning a picnic! I'm taking Jason on a picnic tomorrow, but really I don't even know what to bring. I'm going to get up early to make a lunch and although I'm iffy about what to bring, I'll figure something out! I'm going to have to shave my legs so I can wear a sarong, because that's really the only time I'm going to wear it and I know it >>
I wish I had more! Ugg! I'm going to stress out and then just like... bring whatever. It sucks to date a vegetarian. >> I can't even tell you. XD Can't bring meat! Oh noes!

All this on a broken toe. I've got to figure out what's wrong with it. I seriously didn't do anything. >> I don't think. I was fine! Ah well.
I saw Cayley and Molly briefly yesterday, on my broken toe. I've really let myself drift. It's weird being the third wheel with people you know. I don't mind around Jason's friends. But really...
I guess I have to try harder to keep up with my life and to keep up with other people's lives. ^^ Good luck to me!

Now I'm going!
You can find Arashi torrents to download at SARS-fansubs!

Goodnight!

I'm so tired.
I can't tell you WHY I thought it would be a good idea to stop and write this before going to bed. I've even got tea. >> I just wanted to update something on this site.

I finished watching all of the Avatar series! =D Yay! Fantastic. I loved it. I think anyone else who is a fan should take a good gander in the direction of the LIVE ACTION MOVIE that will be coming out this time next year and is directed by M. Night Shyamalan. ^_^
It looks like it's going to suck, but usually it's the movies that look like they're going to be good that turn out to suck, so I have hope. ^_^
HERE'S THE OFFICAL TRAILER!

... My mind is at so much of a blank. Ugg.

It looks like I might really be working in the bakery again this summer. It sucks I guess, but it's not the worst. If I was working harder on my poetry and getting that published then I might have better luck with not needing a job, you know? But I still haven't even cleaned my room.
Did fix my chair though. =D
Still, if I have an income then I can continue to afford the crack that fuels my life...
Which would be manga. XD

Yeah... so sorry this is so boring!
Dancing tonight was amazing and there will be a HUGE slew of new Reilly's Dorm videos up from Obscure Studios if you've been following us or would care to begin following us now. It's amazing you know. I'm in it, so it must be. ^_^

Okay. That's all. Return to your daily lives. I'm going to bed.

Okay! So I've been home just over a week and a LOT has happened. O_O A freakin lot. However, nothing at all to do with writing or any good to my site. Nothing at all.

My intent will be to work on Detonation. I've been watching Avatar (I'm already at the second season!) and it's been inspiring me. <3 I really want to get back and work through this story really carefully. What I want to do is to draw all of my characters at a range of ages. Roughly 10, roughly 16, and roughly 20. I say roughly because they're all different ages during the story and I want to draw what they'd look like at the same times.
It's a huge project though and I really don't feel like I have the time for it. I guess I'll find the time though. For now I'm going to map out the story. I've decided since there's three basic classes of magic then there should logically be three books. That would break up the action better. I know basically what I want to happen in each, I just have to put it all down so I won't forget ^^

In my life! I went dancing and I've been watching Avatar and getting a tan, but otherwise I've pretty much just been hanging out with Jason. ^_^ I guess we must have really missed each other, but I guess I'm going to be able to get some writing done anyway. Especially if Safeway's never going to call me back. >_>

My room still isn't clean! =D I guess I was the only one who really expected it to be. XD I've really been spending ALL my free time doing other things. I've watched so much Avatar and played so many video games... and when I'm not doing that I'm out and about, so... you know?

But! I have the house to myself for most of the day I guess. So I'm going to make myself a nice egg, watch more Avatar, then take a shower and work on my story if I decide not to clean my room again. ^_^

Oh! And don't eat any Nestle tollhouse cookie dough. Apparently there was a recall because of e-coli and so you should return any you have and not eat it. Good things to know.

Love and hugs!

I have now been back home a grand total of 3 days! =D And I finally got sufficient sleep. ^_^

I spent the first day with my amazing boyfriend =D <33333~ Then I spent Saturday with Molly and got to eat at Hiro's, which was lovely, and I spent the third day shopping with mi madre! =D
I got two new dresses for dancing on the square >> Which means I have to wear dresses to dancing on the square now. XD They're super cute though, so it may just be worth it. >> And then I got a FANTASTIC new camera! =D It was so expensive, but it was birthday money, so whatever. It's a 10 mega pixel camera with 5x zoom. Don't know what I'd use it for, being as high class as it is, but I'll think of something. ^_^ It's fantastic either way!

I have, unfortunately not gotten around to cleaning my room. >> Pretty much at all. Boxes and messes everywhere. Still. What the heck? But I have been watching Avatar! =D ... is that a good trade-off? >> Maybe not. *sigh*
I have been getting a decent tan though, so my legs SHOULD look good in those dresses. XD Haha! T__T Shame on you Jason, you make me so shallow. V___V; *sigh again*
Anyway! ... that's really it for what I've been up to. No news from anywhere I've sent poetry to, so please keep your fingers crossed for me! It would be so amazing to get published. T__T

The rest of this week looks like major chaos, but I'll get my room cleaned eventually! And at some point here I'm going to get some writing done too. >> Still have to look for a job first, I know. T___T So much to do. So many crying faces on this page...

I don't have all that much to say I guess. >> I'm sort of boring when it comes down to it. XD
BUT! I'm gonna have new stuff flying around eventually... like when I've watched all of Avatar and Ryuusei no Kizuna and have nothing better to do. >> And when Jason's busy working... and it's not a wednesday...
I will get it done! =O
A few new links are up for your enjoyment and I hear Obscure Studios is hard at work with stuff, so check them out and you may see me up there soon! <3

LOVE TO ALL!

So I woke up at 7:30 to have breakfast and take a shower before my literature final at 9:00. >___> The whole freakin' final only took like 20 minutes to take. T___T Feels like a waste of a morning because now I'm caffinated and can't go back to sleep.
At noon my portfolio for Creative Writing is due. I'm happy with two of my revisions, but not with the revision for my teacher's favorite poem. XD So I might just work on that with the two extra hours I find myself with...

It's been a bit since I posted anything. I never got around to revising Peaches because SOMEBODY made me all depressed about it. >_> I guess I'll have to decide what to do about it eventually. Stones is still good though. ^_^ I don't care how people react I guess. I really do like it. It's not QUITE perfect, but I think it's good. What I need is help with that part of it that still isn't right yet...

T__T My allergies are getting horrible. They were fine when all the pollen was flying around, but as soon as it got cloudy and cold outside I just start sneezing up a storm. O_O; What's up with that?
Ugg. So I feel like a sick person all over again because I haven't been getting enough sleep and I'm all filled with snot. Ewww...

I don't know what else to write. I guess I'm hungry after all that running around.
I'll make food and then go work more on my poem I guess.

 Ahhhhh waaaaaaangst. T___T;

I am so incredibly ready for the school year to be over it's actually painful. XD
The real problem is that I'm totally dreading the summer too. T__T; All the perks will be well worth going back home for, but I'll probably end up fighting with my parents most of the summer... I'll have to get a job where I have to stand for eight hours and I'll start feeling like I have no time to write anymore. I won't have internet in my room anymore so I'll feel disconnected and stay up late trying to get in internet hours when I should be asleep, I won't get any writing done because I'll just be too lazy and no one will encourage it anyway. There will always be SOMETHING else for me to be doing. >_>

That out of the way, what I WANT to do this summer is get a good job so I don't have to stand for eight hours every day, get outside every day to get some tan, sleep out under the stars, see everyone as often as possible, see Jason as much as possible, properly revise and compile every poem I've ever written with help from someone who can give me feedback, get out of town every now and then to do something fun and relaxing, stay in shape so I can dress cute, be totally finalized on the revisions for at least three short stories, watch some good movies every now and then, get along with my parents, and still have time in a day to get some reading done.
That's what I want. And you know what? It could very well happen! =D
Just doesn't look that way today, you know? T___T; I need my perky back. I want my parents to stop bothering me about looking for a job. I'll work on that after I get back to Flagstaff, geez! I can't even sign up for a job at Safeway this summer online because they're not offering jobs and so I need to ask how to get around that. >>
I want my literature teacher to not assign us so much homework at the very end of the quarter, especially not all about the New Testament. T___T; I skipped class today because I can't handle him preaching at us in his monotone voice and then expecting an engaging class debate from the students he's put to sleep so that only the girl who talks just as slow as he does will talk and go on and on as though she's holier-than-thou. V___V; I'll go for the test, but I can't go for the lectures on the New Testament. No way. No how. I just can't do it. I've spent months putting up with things and I can't. *tear*

So now that tangent is over! ^_^
The good news is that there is a COMPLETELY REVISED version of Stones that I think is MUCH improved. >> I was ever so proud of it when I wrote it but now I need feedback because I'm just getting worried about it as it sit there. Q___Q; I changed up the ending, and I completely reworked the beginning, then I added in some parts that I felt were necessary to the middle, so if you've read a previous draft please read this one and tell me if it's improved, okay? Please?
I also finished my first draft of Peaches and posted that. Understand that I wrote it for class, haven't revised anything yet, and my boyfriend hates it because I use too much imagery. >______> Let me know what you think of that story too, asap if you can so I can revise it for my final. XD

Other than that I've started working on a new website! Haiku1o1 is what it's called and it's a website about how to write haiku! ^_^ So far there's barely anything up there... it's a work in progress but I thought I should give back to the community and have a helpful website to my name. >_> I hope it turns out well.XD I'll need an editor to make sure nothing's spelled wrong eventually. ^^;

I have a new Japanese drama to watch over the summer too. Fufufufu! Ryuusei no Kizuna is the name of the drama, that's "bound by shooting stars" and after watching the first episode I decided it was fantastic enough to continue watching! ^_^ It's very mystery-like, but I'm fairly sure that one of the guys in it is another member of the boy band Arashi~! =O Just like Domyouji from Hana Yori Dango! XD (I'm right about that BTW! XDD Hahah! So cute! <3)

BTW, just a little FYI, I get all my Japanese Drama downloads from the torrents at SARS-Fansubs.com which is a lovely place with lots of good stuff to choose from. ^_^ They're super high-quality and free and there are enough seeders for them that it doesn't take forever to download.

That's all for tonight then! <3 I'm in a much better mood. I'm gonna go show my new show to my roommate >>
Don't worry Jason, I won't make you watch this one <3

Love and hugs! =D

So I went to a poetry-short story reading to kick off the giving out of the 'literary magazine' Northwest Boulivard that EWU puts out that I tried to send some poetry to but they rejected. (I have a very bitter bias against them because of it, but hear me out.) After going, I don't feel quite as bad about not getting in! The entire group of people was so clique-ish that even though it was a very public event and a lot of people were there, it felt like it was a little thing for the few people who knew each other. It was a bit weird.
Also, all the poetry that got into the magazine (although some of it was just superb and I was humbled by it) conveyed some "deep inner darkness" type of deal. All of it. And most of it was written in a first person perspective. It was all, as my teacher put it "poety poetry" and I guess I've been recently making a conscious decision to not write in that particular way.
I like writing poetry that tries to convey an emotion or idea through a specific image, and that's not what they were looking for. They were looking to convey a deep dark idea that is stated to enhance images. I think. That was my analysis.
Seriously good stuff got published though! It makes me want to start writing differently somewhat, just because they were absolutely amazing. I may try writing with more contemporary themes...
However, I'm not going to put in any effort to get in with Northwest Boulivard after this. XD It was a crappy little journal for how much they went on about it being practically the greatest literary thing to come out of the area, it's tiny and they weren't even selling it, just giving away free copies to the people who showed up. >> I don't know. They're so pretentious and cliquey that I don't want to deal with it. I'm not going to join the staff next year like I'd planned unless it's terribly convenient. Instead I'll focus on publishing my own work with some bigger publisher.
I'll still submit stuff though. I just want to be read. >>

In terms of writing, Peaches will be written today, revised tonight, and up on the website by tomorrow (which is when it's due for class. XD) My plans for the summer revolve around the following;
A) Rewrite Stones and then finalize it and get over it B) Revise Without Moonlight and repost it C) Get a revision of Darkness up on this computer D) Revise Peaches again and finalize E) Revise and consolidate all poetry into one file and work on finding publishers.

Those are my goals. Please someone hold me to them and allow me the time to get them done because otherwise I'll accomplish nothing as I am the greatest procrastinator the world has ever seen. XD

Today Rachel's picking her sister up at the airport and I don't know when she'll be back... if she's not back till tomorrow that'd be good cause I'd have so much time for stuff. >>
I have to finish Peaches, like I said, I also have to do a critique of a story for creative writing class. Then I need to do revisions of all my poetry and do some readings for class, then I have to fill out some things in my journal for class that I've been neglecting... and I have to do some work on my dance journal too. XD But I want to watch Chicago today too... so we'll work this thing out. Oh! And I have to ink and scan my picture of Spider for Cayley. >> Hmm...

I'll stop procrastinating and get working on that stuff then. ^^ Damn tendonitis is going to have to shut up today! XD

Well today's been an excellent day! =D I didn't sleep at all... all night... >> For some reason. Apparently it's a side-effect of the medication so I just won't worry about it until I crash out. XD
Despite the lack of sleep I've been incredibly perky all day and I've felt fantastic! O_O So healthy. I hardly notice my throat and I feel energetic and adorable. <3 I'm even hungry! =D
Adorable because I decided that since I'm going to class while I have Mono, I might as well dress cute while I do it, so I wore a skirt and a cute outfit to class today. I feel so summery! <3
So yes, I did go to class today. My literature teacher was doubly boring and Japanese was just insanely hard to pick back up, but having something to do with my day sure is refreshing...
After that I went for a walk outside all dolled up... it was windy... which is hard in a skirt, but I got new batteries for my camera and did an outdoor self-photo shoot anyway and felt good about myself. ^_^ You can hardly tell my throat's all swollen up in most of them. ^_~ For being sick I sure look good. Yes indeed! Haha!

I have two more days of medication, then I'll go back to the doctor and see how I'm doing and after that I'll just be struggling through these last two weeks till finals! =D
Flagstaff, I'm coming! Wait for me you summer-partying bums!

So aside from homework I've been moving around and renaming the music that's been sloshed into my laptop. It's all titled and consolidated now and on my iPod, which is nice. ^^ I also worked on drawing Sapphire's character Spider... although the description I have of him was vague so I'm hesitant to ink it before I'm sure I have him right. >> And I've been working on Peaches, which is actually for my Creative Writing class, but it's a branch off from All We Sought For, so of course it'll be up on here for all eternity until I realize it desperately needs itself a revision. XD
Speaking of which... what would you think if I ended up putting up chatterboxes for every story? So I could get direct feedback on that specific story? >> Would that be good? Would people who read my stories actually go through and comment? I might give it a try. I'm not sure many people come here anyway. XD

Okay! Movies to see:
The Night Listener: stars Robin Williams as a gay man who I believe is in love with the guy who marries Will at the end of Will and Grace. >> It's a thriller that's really fantastic! It's based on a true story about a phone conversation between a radio show host guy and a fourteen year old boy. However, no one's ever been able to prove that the 14 year old boy really exists. =D
Sleepless in Seattle: It was only good because it's silly and cute. It's such a girl's film, but with content you wouldn't get unless you're old enough to appriciate it. Meg Ryan falls for Tom Hanks after hearing him on a radio program. It's really cute. I recommend it for girls who just want to see a happy little chick flick and not be sick to their stomach because of it.
House: ... It's a thriller. I'm not sure what to say about the movie because it's not exactly good, I just enjoyed it. It was mostly just weird, like there was too much content. They were so focused on TRYING to confuse us with certain things while wanting us to pick up on completely different things that turned out to actually be unimportant to the plot as a whole so really I figured out what was going on too early on and then was confused by the little details. Still, ended up really liking it because there were really good parts and if all you want is a really bizzare and creepy thriller then this is perfect!

That's all I've watched recently. >> Just thought I'd share. I watch a lot when I'm ill. Or bored. XD

I guess that's all then! I should be working on homework or something like that! Love and hugs and I hope to remain healthy feeling! I'll keep an update going though. >>

 So today I experienced my first ever panic attack. >_O
Hoooooly crap. I've never had a panic attack before. Indeed, I thought I was stable enough that I'd never have to worry about getting a panic attack. What the hell happened? I'm going to blame the fact that I've been sick for so long, but seriously? There was just no reason for that...
It was like, first I was just incredibly frustrated and I couldn't handle listening to music right after desperately wanting to listen to music, then I didn't want to be at my computer anymore so I moled up in my bed, then that felt smothering so I threw it all off and went for a walk alone in the dark. >_O Seriously not a good idea at 1:40am, but hell! It sorta helped. I just went outside and walked and cried and went insane or something cause I was so jittery and there was just no reason for it and I got all paranoid for a while there...
Then Jason answered my text and called and I sat outside and talked to him till it went away. V___V;

I feel so lame.

I'm supposed to be this island of stablity like I've established myself as for so long and in the last month I've completely and totally fallen to pieces. A panic attack? What the hell? I could have killed myself for a minute there and it was really freaky! I hope that will forever be the only one I ever get... That was so bad. T__T

I just need to get to sleep, so I'm going to sleep now. I'm going to forget that I had this whole ordeal and focus on overcoming my mono.
While I'm at it, I'll go back to working on writing my short story for class which I was working on prior to the onset of the attack...

I know my family is one that is prone to Bipolar disorder, but I want people to know I don't have that. I've fully calmed down now and I'm just going to sleep. I'm going to be perfectly fine and healthy and normal again and this won't happen anymore.
More stuff will be happening with the website and I still would like suggestions for what else can be improved upon.
Thank you!

And thank you Jason... sorry I woke you up because of this.

So bad news all chickidees. I have come down with Mono. >> For those who don't know what that is, I have a wiki link to it! =D YAY!
What this means is that I'm totally contageous for a freakin' long time.
It also means that both Jason and Rachel potentially have it, since they're the ones I was in contact with most this week.
Also, I've missed so much class. T___T Screw the perfect attendance records from the last two quarters, I'm missing weeks of class now. This isn't a problem for classes like Literature which I dislike anyway, or for dance, which I've been told I'm doing fine in and not to worry about (I can't go to dance primarily because apparently my spleen could explode if I do any physical activities. T__T) and Creative Writing is more a matter of my wanting to attend than of my missing anything vital. Japanese though? I missed two days and I have to skip a whole quiz and take it later cause I don't know an ounce of the material. T___T; I'm so far behind that there's just no way I'm gonna get a 4.0 again this quarter. It sucks. I hate to see my grades suffer due to lack of ability to show up rather than due to lack of caring. >___>

The worst part about Mono seems to be that I have no creative juices. None. Everything is very cut-and-dry recently and I'm lacking a certain amount of like... sympathy... or compassion? I guess it's cause I feel so much like crap that I don't care what other people feel about things? XD Is that so wrong? T__T yeeees. Damn ills. So I've been being quite rude and I can't write anything even remotely decent. I just wanna sit in bed and play Fire Emblem... not even necessarily shower, though I will because I feel quite good when I do. ^^ I think I'll start reading Angels and Demons and see if I can finish reading it before all my symptoms go away.

In other more riviting news, Laurel came back from some kind of fair that was going on yesterday while I was miserable and bedridden and she brought me and Rachel back and whole bunch of condoms! =D I found this utterly amusing because now I have this huge collection of interesting condoms and I didn't even have to leave my bed. XDDD It's really funny. Did you know what kind of FLAVORS they make them in? O__O; Holy crap! Strawberry, Chocolate, Grape, Vanilla, Mint, Banana... O_o; Some of those are just weird... and then there's all these colored ones and she got me an XL one which I found amusing because you can feel how big that thing is and I just don't think I'd want to experience anything that fits inside that thing. >_____> and then some lub. It was fun. It cheered me up. XD

So now what you're really wondering about is why I altered the site. You say: "But Kaye! You only change your site once a year and I really liked the dark blue look!" well, me too. I liked it. But they came out with this sidebar thing that looked SO bad with the other format, so I changed it up and I like all the frillies... I'm gonna work with this one for a while and see about making the site more user-friendly, interactive, and interesting. I'm gonna try to have some new work up soon... though I don't have much new stuff written due to the aforementioned illness. This Mono also hinders my ability to spell correctly. Overlook this.
If you have any brilliant ideas for things you'd like to see on the site starting on the 22nd of May, please tell me your ideas in the chatterbox found under Guestbook. Also, if you think something is stupid, I'm prepared to hear about that too. Just remember that I have no feelings other than PAIN at the moment, so everything will be looked at rather objectively. Is that a good thing? >_O

Thank you for you patience as things get changed about!!!

O__O; Best Birthday. EVER!
Why didn't I tell you about it sooner, oh lonely traveler who wanders my website, hungry for news of my life?
WHY YOU ASK?
Well, I'll tell you. <3

It is, in fact, because I recieved the best present ever from the best boyfriend ever. ^_^
Don't give me that look! I kid you not! =O
My day went something like this:
Wake up, take shower, get phone calls, open presents, go to class, get phone calls, play with presents, get calls, play with presents, plan to go out to dinner for my birthday, Rachel leaves to meet up with parents, comes back, I get a call from Jason...

HE WAS IN OUR HALLWAY. O_O
In the flesh.
In Washington.
From Arizona.
~~~<3

He took a Greyhound bus to come see me for my birthday. Q___Q How amazing is that? T^T

And he spent six days with us, totally freaking Rachel out just a little bit, but it was sooooo~ much fun. It was so nice to see him and hug him and hang out with him and everything. ~<3
He's so amazing. And so pretty <3333333 Yes that's right. ^_^
And he smells soooooo~ good too. >>

So it was incredible. Jason got to see Spokane and Cheney (we literally walked ALL around Cheney. It's not very large >>) and my dorm room and our campus and ME~<3 and I got to see him! -^___^-
And now I just have to wait another 3 weeks to see him again. >> Which is not bad actually. It was super hard to watch him leave but come on, right? I have to be overjoyed that I don't have to wait 3 months, but just 3 more weeks. Q______________________Q

Okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. It was just so incredibly romantic and shocking and amazing, so I had to share. <3 How did I get so lucky? T___T Thank you god for the Jason I recieved. I appriciate it, even if I had to have the worst of illness fits along with it. <3

The other things I got were the Watchmen soundtrack, which is amazing, Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon, my new love, and 3:10 to Yuma HECK YES! =DDD And with that I recieved much cash. Twas a good party. ^_^ We went to Sushi.com for dinner WITH JASON so Laura and Laurel and Rachel got to meet him <3 and then we had a really good cake. Fantastic.

In other news? ... that's all I've done. XD
I have to write a short fiction story for creative writing class, and that'll probably find itself up on here eventually. I've had homework otherwise and I've been well distracted. ^^;
Some things I've done in class will find themselves in the writing dump, but otherwise *shrug*

Now I'm going to get a nice tan for the summer now that it's been warm outside, and I just have to hold out till finals then I get to come home! <3

LOVE YOU ALL! =D
~<3
SO much love to Jason. ^______^-

I have been... soooooooooooooo sick. T__T
At first I was just kinda sick, then I went to the clinic and got some medication that made me REALLY sick, and then I got a new medication that makes me hungry and drowsy and still sick... all for something I didn't think I had any symptoms of. T_T *sigh*

Well I skipped class Monday and Tuesday, but I was well enough to go see Spamalot on Friday! =D It was fantastic! Very Monty Python and although it followed the dialogue from The Holy Grail almost perfectly, they threw in plenty of gags from their other skits and the song at the end of The Life Of Brian became like the theme song for the whole thing. ^_^ It was really funny. I loved it. I was glad I was feeling alive enough to go.

Most impressive feat: since last Sunday Rachel and I have managed to watch 45 episodes of Rurouni Kenshin (what with going to classes, sleeping, and seeing Spamalot). So bow down at our lazy might! O_O That's more Kenshin than the mind should be able to handle, but we're handling it well. ^_^ When we're done we'll likely move on to the significantly shorter and prettier and more accurate Samurai X.
For your enjoyment here's a link to a Kenshin AMV to Mortal Combat. <3

Not much else exciting has been going on in my life... I wrote some poems for Creative Writing class that I'm getting workshopped tomorrow, so for the first time in a long time I'm going to get to find out what a large group of people think about my poetry so I can hopefully improve it. I think I'll post what I wrote for it... although it all sounds rather angsty, I assure you it's all based upon Anime >> Shut up. I watch a lot of it and I like the theme songs. ^^; Especially when my brain's not working well for other things, it helps to have something like that to use.

Well! My birthday's coming up! ^^ I hope I feel better by then because I really wanted to splurge and have a really good time... we'll see. I can always hold off and celebrate on the weekend.

Now I should probably shower! I'll post all the new and revised versions of poetry. ^^

The sky is grey again today and I'm covered in bug bites from my walk yesterday. I won't say it wasn't worth it, because it was, to climb up so many hills and look back at the campus far behind. It was incredible.
I also watched Spice World yesterday. XD What a silly movie. What am I doing? Reliving my childhood?
That's probably it. I'm at that point again where I feel like there's a dead end in this labyrinth, and rather than try to find another way out  from where I am, I'm backtracking much farther than I should be to take a stab at it from an entirely different angle.
That might not be a bad thing actually...

 So I'm ready for summer now! =D I'm ready to be back home and to sit in the sun and see Jason. >_>

Unconnectedly I assume, I haven't been sleeping well. I have a whole bunch of dreams, but in all of them something horribly weird happens and then I wake up our of shock and it's hot in our room no matter what we try to do and so I'm all sweaty and thirsty, and I have to wake all the way up. T__T this has been going on for a week. I woke up yesterday and realized my nose had been bleeding down my throat and it was so gross because my mouth tasted like metal and it was so sore. I'm gonna die like Atilla the Hun. I know it. T___T

Well for those of you who haven't seen it, watch Peach! The ending theme of Hana Kimi! ^_^ It's super cute and the boys are delicious. XD It's one of the most ridiculously hysterical shows I've ever seen. For sure. And you know what? It even ended perfectly. ^_^ I was like "KISS HER YOU FOOL! O___O" And the suspense was killing me, and then he did. ^^ A good ending.
But then there was this two hour like... special. >> That basically tied up all the loose ends. XD It was cute too.
No kiss in that one. So depressing. XD
Anyway. A show is good if there are plenty of cute boys acting like idiots in it. I approve. ^^ I guess a bunch of girls acting like idiots would be funny too, but the eye candy, man. I love it for the eye candy.

... I LOVE YOU JASON! =D <3

<3 Anyway. ^_^ I'm gonna go take a shower. Watch Hana Kimi!

It's interesting to find that there are things that purposefully push us to the limits of our "self" just to see if we have the guts to stand beside ourselves when everyone else has pushed our ideas away.
It's refreshing actually. It's refreshing to know that no matter who shoves or what they're pushing, no matter what I believe in or how many exceptions I make, even I, who will barely stand up for my own opinions or who is so easily persuaded, still have the confidence to know where I draw my lines.
I didn't think I knew. I thought I was willing to step over them all, but when it really comes down to it; what I believe I've always believed and if can live with myself tomorrow for what I've done today then I didn't do anything wrong.
And I'm not referring to the fact that "the only unbearable thing is that nothing is unbearable" or anything like that. This world isn't like that. Not here, in my life. I'm saying that I'm glad to know that I know what to do to not be afraid of myself anymore. How very relaxing that is.

...
I'm not sure all that made sense. How is it that I believe I can be a writer when I never even know what I'm trying to say or how to get it all out? XD I guess that's my major malfunction then. I guess that's what's making it so hard to write. Even though I know where to draw the line I won't approach it? ...
I'm not a hypocrite. I know that. My problem is that I can see all sides of the issue so evenly that I find it hard to choose one. >> I can't even explain that in a way that makes sense. Like, I understand every angle of every party's point instantly on any issue? But only in my head. It's actually really weird. I don't know how many other people, or everyone does or what, feel like their head is just a giant saucer and you're picking up absolutely every station all at the same time... or like there's a sphere around everything that's supposed to be vague, and this sphere represents every possible solidity that makes up that vagueness.
... I dunno.
That's why I can't go into debate. XD I can't help but agree with too much. It's also why I can't write nonfiction, because there doesn't feel like there's a point to me. And you know? In the end; who am I trying to persuade? No one. No one cares. You all have your own opinions and I'm not going to change them, even if you see things my way for a moment, you won't do anything differently because of it.
Damn. How pessimistic. XD

All the people in the world who call themselves "realists" say that I'm an "optimist" but from what I've seen of all the "realists" in the world, they're just hyper depressive optimists, and from what I can see I'm seeing things in the realist perspective. I want things to change, believe they can change, but also make enough room for human error and realize that I don't yet have the skills to make things change.

I should have gone into science. I'm really good at math and science. I always have been. I don't pick it up as quickly and I don't retain it because I can't memorize specific things long term, but I really, REALLY get it. I can understand the mechanics of things like that really easily.
I'm doing writing because I can retain that sort of information long term. That's really probably it.
However, with writing, unlike with science, people don't take what you've said at face value. You can't show someone something and just expect that they will believe you just because you've said it, or even because you've proved it. Science and math are so easy. Everyone takes for granted that there is one answer and when you reach it you're done and no one believes or will ever believe the same of anything I can write to you. There always has to be a deeper meaning, there always has to be another angle to see it from.
Well what happens if it turns out we're living on a flat plane?
What happens if everything is just the same.

I wish I could see things like Doctor Manhatten from Watchmen can. I wish I could see everything happening at the same time, but I can't. It constantly moves, and with the movement there is this imovable thing that I do see and it's opinion and it's flashing all around me constantly and it's rushing against the floodgate called congress and it's not going to be held back but it gets delayed and hardly any water's getting anywhere as it spills over the top and leaks around the sides.

900 people can decide that it's better to just die, but one man can't decide to stop a war.

It's so easy to change my mind, to see everything in every way and accept absolutely everything for what it is at exactly it's true value. It's so easy. And it's so easy to chose to end that. It's easy to chose to destroy everything I can touch and everything I feel...
But why?
It would be so easy to tell myself to do this or that, that this is good and that is bad,
But what's the use of telling it to you? Why should you even listen, let alone care, let alone change the world because of it?
What's the use of staying alive, except that I desperately want to live?
How could I tell that to someone who's given it all up?

So what if I believe it everything, I believe in nothing at the same time, that just means I'm indecisive, doesn't it? It just means I don't know enough. Never enough. Nothing is ever enough because there always has to be something else. There has to be something new.

Everything new is getting blown away along with half the old, now all we have is rotting in a library where it will never be seen again and people believe that the parts we remember are the full text.

And there's nothing wrong with any of that.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of that.

So then what is there to write about?

These satellite voices are screaming in my head
And it's white noise.

What is there to write about?
Here I am at the taut-rope of my limits, at the empty screen on the desk.
If only I could form that sound into words, but you'd never be able to read it.

I know what I'm doing,
But I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

And hey, please don't believe this means I'm crazy. It's just that the sun's out again today and I've decided I never want to smoke. Ever. Because of all the things I'm seeing, I still see that one line, and I won't step off the cliff for that one.
I don't want that to be the way I die.
Doesn't matter what you say.

Whooo! So... I felt so sick last night. I don't feel back to normal today, but I sure feel a heck of a lot better after 9 hours of sleep!
Last night the only thing I wanted to do was curl up and sleep. Today I still want to curl up and sleep, and my head hurts like there's a clamp on it, but I feel much more healthy! ^^

Rachel and I finished watching Haibane Renmei last night. Q___Q
I've seen it before, of course, but it's such an incredible series. Totally angst ridden at some points, but it's fantastic! I wrote a few little things after watching it... I might post some of them. It's hard to know what to post at the moment. I have so many things I'm working on and nothing feels done enough and my head hurts. XD So we'll see!

Tonight I really want to watch Phantom of the Opera.

So Rachel's out for most of today doing whatever with her mother. ^^; I had all these plans for things I was going to get done while she was out, but I can't seem to bring myself to still want to do them at the moment... I feel incredibly bland actually. I just wanna play video games. I'll be happy just doing that I'm sure. I'm working on downloading a version of Phantasy Star because I really liked that game when I played it way back when, I had the most kick-ass Ranger chick who was about 3 feet tall. It was fantastic, because I would be about half the size of anyone I was playing with and I'd just stand at the corner of the room and blast all the enemies away before anyone else could even figure out what was up. XD It was so much fun. I may have to go back and finish it this summer. I don't think I ever completed all the bosses.

I have a major addiction to those lunchables pizzas. >> They're really tasty and they sell them at our store for a reasonable price. <3 I think... could be incredibly expensive for all I know. ^^

I learned some interesting things the other day that I was not aware of! =D ... I was totally aware of them. T___T; Apparently Jason has read everything I've ever written online, most of which is wangst about Jonny unfortunately. T___T And Jonny, on the other hand, has never read any of it XD (until recently) It seems backwards, and it totally makes me feel guilty, so I'm going to root out and take down anything like that that isn't part of this website. Meaning I'm trashing a few choice blogs. >> They deserved it anyway.

I can't think of anything else I particuarly wanted to say I suppose.
So that's it for this week's rant I guess! =D Please check out all the new stuff I'm working on putting up on the site... which doesn't sound too promising, but I hope it's good! ^^

The world is dark and barren sometimes, and the sun refuses to peak through the thick layer of clouds.
However, the grey doesn't make the hollow days any less beautiful than the clear, glittering sunlight that warms the earth.
The darkest clouds promise rain, and the fresh scent of tomorrow.
They bring the life that makes the sunlight beautiful, just as the promise of sun only makes more beautiful the clear and endless nights.

Today the clouds are covering everything. ^_^ Which is what the above paragraph is in reference to. Yesterday was eventful, but today promises to be rather relaxed.
Yesterday I woke up, went to the gym, then had a picnic in the sun. Last evening Junki and Ryo came over and we watched The Dark Knight, which was hard for them to understand of course because there was no way to get Japanese subtitles. After that we all got dinner, then we played pool. Pool is really hard, by the way. >_> I couldn't get the hang of it and only won the one time Ryo was on my team because he got all the balls in for us. T__T; I'll practice so I can get better. XD
Then we watched two movies with Laurel! The Girl Next Door and Miss Congeniality. Both turned out to be very good movies. ^_^
So all in all it was a really fantastic day. Koizora isn't finished downloading still, but I'll be fine. I'm going to get back to reading all the things I've half started so I'll be good.

I've been getting interesting texts from Jason recently. XD But I suppose I shouldn't worry about him. Life's good.
Today my plans are to relax and maybe watch the rest of Haibane Renmei. <3

Tomorrow my plans are go to class and see how many people decided to ditch due to 4/20. XD Don't do drugs, kids. Just don't do it!

<3

So I wrote a really good poem... it's in a style I haven't done in quite a while actually. I think it's pretty good. Please let me know. It was actually inspired by Haibane Renmei surprisingly enough. XD

Second order of business is that my head is going to explode. >_<
No really, like, literally. I've planted dynamite. XD
Why? Well sit tight, I'll tell you. >_>

I need to write a short story for Creative Writing class, and so I was like "cool. I have no idea." Then I read "Red Sky in the Morning" by Patricia Hampl and I was like "O_O I know what to do!" and I had this brilliant idea that I then failed to write down... >_>
However... *sigh* It evolved back into what my real problem is: I want to write a story explaining to myself what my whole epic crush on Jonny was about.
And so I sat down and got to plotting it out and I was like *cry* because I don't know what I want to write it like... to SAY.
So I went ahead and asked Jonny for his permission to use him in my story... although I hadn't begun writing it, and I was like "Ok! I'll do it now!"
Well then I was even more at a loss for ideas. V___V;
Jonny's been my muse for most of high school, no matter how weird it is or how strange it is to admit it, a lot of my best stuff that I wrote in the last few years was either in relation to or about or inspired by either my affection for or my rivalry with Jonny. V___V; Except for a few choice poems from recently referring to Jason and a few even older ones about seriously strange folk, the ones about Jonny are the ones that I like the best because I was being quite clever trying to make it completely un-obvious that I liked him at all.
Makes for good poetry, it's not my fault. V__V;

Well, it occurred to me after my mom asked me what the story was about and I couldn't tell her that really the one I should have been getting permission from was not Jonny, but Jason (which was reiterated when it turned out he was totally not at all okay with me writing a story about my high school crush but telling me it was okay because he's nice but then I just felt bad...) who really is just all together too nice about the fact that I'm bff now with a guy who I was ridiculously head over heels for prior to now.
But I wanted to write this BECAUSE I am over Jonny... because I think it would be really good if I wrote it.
So I'm conflicted.
I want to write a story that would neither offend nor disappoint anyone and which would be entirely 100% honest and true.
But I don't know anymore.
I don't know what this story really means to me anymore. It turned into- like everything else I've procrastinated- just a bunch of work, which sucks. I want it to be something I really care about, but I don't want it to hurt anybody...

This sucks.

I'm making excuses. The real problem is that I want to finish watching Koizora but the last two episodes won't download quickly. That's the real problem. V__V;

No it's not.
I'm so sorry Jason! T^T You're so perfect and I'm a jerk.
But if I write this, it's because I've got to write it because it will be brilliant. If I follow through with this story then it'll be good, I swear it will be.
I want to write about you too, Jason, but with Jonny's story, I already know the ending. It's already finished. With you this story is just beginning (I hope) so someday... okay?

No. I'm just terrible. Don't even try to convince me one way or another. T___T I'll procrastinate a bit longer and decide when I know what I want to say.

So now... ug.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what my problem is. I shouldn't be writing about things that offend people anyway... I don't want to offend you Jason.

I love you!

Sakuracon was incredible. Absolutely unbelievably fun. I had a fantastic time and I can't even express how exciting it was to be around all the other serious nerds dressed as these fantastic characters and how relaxing it was to be around so many people who are nerds and who know that they're nerds and who feel totally comfortable flaunting that fact to the extreme. Sometimes it's just nice to know that there are things out there that the "cool" people think are stupid that really are cool to those of us who are truly cool. ^__^
The only disappointment?
No one knows about DNAngel. T__T Or if they do, no one else dressed as any characters from it but me, and my costume could use a bit of work. >>
DNAngel is amazing though, so it does make me sad that no one knows about it and that it's not popular. The Anime may suck, but the manga makes up for that. T^T
If you want to know more about what went on, keep an eye on my DeviantArt page: http://suncloud.deviantart.com/ which is where I'm going to be posting all my trip images in a lovely collage and is where the pictures of me in costume will be showing up. ^_^

I have a lot of future plans for both trying to popularize DNAngel in the USA and in improving my costume. This summer I'll work on making wings, getting more dark clothing (I decided the shirt should really be black too.) figuring out the perfect way to do my hair, and making a plushie of Wiz to carry with me. ^_^ That way when I go next year I'll be twice as fantastic as I was this year!
Now what I need is to get Jason to be able to come with me to a convention sometime and to convince him to dress as Krad. >_> This is a big task, but one that would be absolutely amazing. <3

Now! Future plans! This site's getting an upgrade. XD
You will now find that if you click the image of the eyes above you will find yourself at my new Writing Dump!
I'm writing that so that there will be new, non-journaling writing up on the site more often. I'm experimenting in using the "blog" feature for this one, so I hope it isn't weird or anything. For a while it'll mostly be exercises I did in CRWR 210 that I thought I did particuarly well, but there'll be other little things in there eventually I think. This will just help assure that things don't go too static on the site I guess. I hope you enjoy it!

That's really what's up right now I guess. I'm super psyched even though I didn't get ANY of the Iliad read I still think I passed that test and I think I'll be just fine! ^^ Time to budget money again! O_O;

There's a distinct lack of something in the world. People have been missing something in their daily lives that they haven't even noticed they've been missing.
And I'm talking something other than just my presence of course. <3 ^_^

People are missing poetry.
And I don't mean this ENTIRELY because I want people to buy MINE.
(although I do)
But seriously.
Poetry hasn't been a very big part of the world's lifestyle since the modernist movements made it something everyone could do or read and not something for the elite and intellectuals to peruse at their leisure.

Poetry used to be a very distinct art form that smart people did specifically as an art form.
Now poetry has basically been blasphemized by modernism.
I have nothing against modernism, there's a lot of modern stuff that's seriously awesome. I like the balance that modernism is famous for and the simplicity of it that's chic enough to be appealing to the eye, but not difficult for the common person to understand. I like how it's a style that constantly has it's eye turned toward the future and it concerned with the present. I like the way it's contastantly trying to open people's eyes to the problems in the world in an incredibly subtle way that is imitating, but not copying styles of the past movements.
But seriously?
An awful lot of modern stuff is just crap to sell crap and has no artistic value at all. >>
"This is a poem"
does not, under any circumstance qualify as a poem.
I'm sorry. It's just depressing.
A blue canvas... no matter how big, is not "art." I don't care what you see in a huge single colored canvas, it's still not art. Especially if you can't claim it represents anything concrete. And don't even say it's the sky. That would be ridiculous. XD

But back to poetry!
There's a lot of it, but there's not a lot of appriciation for it and with very good reason. Poetry really isn't being written in a way that makes people want to read it.

So now the question is: What do people want to read in poetry? >_O;
People listen to music, and some of it has really good lyrics,
but what is it about poetry that would make it something that people would want to read, something which would stand alone without music to enhance it?
I'm not sure, in fact, I don't think my poetry is at that level at all, but I'd like to figure out how to write THAT type of poety,
Poetry that people would like to read and that could put poetry back into the eye of the masses.

^^ Exciting, ne?

Now that I'm done ranting, I wrote a communist 5 year plan! =D It's all up for changes, and some things depend on who I'll be living with *stare* and where I decide to end up living in 5 years, and all that sort of stuff, and I have to be able to have a side job with a magazine or newspaper and hopefully I'll be published in some form or another by the time so I'm making enough money to make it as a baker. ^_^ So! This is my communist plan:

Sarah’s Five Year Plan
2009-2013 

2009- Freshman Year

o   -College

o   -Get summer-long job or internship

o   -Gather and learn how to bake many different recipes

o   -Write, revise, and finish 6 short stories

o   -Look for publisher/agent

2010- Sophomore Year

o   -Finish Major requirements and as many GCRs as possible

o   -Publish 6 short stories and poetry

o   -Finalize trip to England

o   -Get summer-long job to pay for trip

o   -Work on baking

2011- Junior Year

o   -Study abroad in Lancaster, England

o   -Make sure to be published and work on distribution

o   -Get a job with a magazine or newspaper

o   -Work on baking

2012- Senior Year

o   -Finish all Major requirements and Graduate

o   -Finish writing a novel

o   -Decide where to live after college

o   -Work on baking and finalize plans to open a bakery

o   -Get a job with a newspaper or magazine and a full-time job

2013- Graduate year

o   -Get solid job with newspaper or magazine

o   -Revise and publish a novel, work on distribution

o   -Move into an apartment

o   -Work on starting own bakery

o   -??

So it was snowing this morning. O_O;
Where did the spring weather go? XD
Jason was right... I bring bad weather. T___T; How very tragic.

My classes are fantastic, so that everyone knows. My Classics in Literature is going to be horrible because the teacher could basically cure insomniacs and his tests are just ridiculous, but I adore the texts, so I think I'll survive. I don't necessarily like the dance teacher because he spends more time telling you how good of a teacher is and how he's teaching you really well than he actually does teaching, but I think I'll have fun with it. ^_^ Of course I adore my Japanese teacher, and Jubei's in the class too! I didn't realize quite how good of friends he and I have become until he was late to class and Teiko-sensei asked me if he'd dropped the class and I realized I'd be really sad if he wasn't in the class with me. He's way more relaxed this semester too, or maybe I am, but he seems really happy so that's good. ^_^ And then I adore my teacher for Creative Writing because I toold English 201 from him, and he's so chill and the class is going to be just fantastic. <3 The only problem is that the work will clash a bit with Classics, but I think I'll be okay. ^_^
So classes are going to be good! I'll have to learn to stop procrastinating so much of course...

Other than that today I learned more than I'd previously known or maybe even necessarily needed to know from Shaina about man-parts. XD
Actually, I took a quiz in German that was basically "how big's yer dick?" XD And I got 40cm! Hells yeah. XD Which is FREAKISHLY HUGE so no plz. >> But I told that to Shaina and she was like "Wow. I'd sleep with you." XD And I found out that about 15cm is average length (this is in case you ever wanted to or needed to know. XD) I measured my hand and from the bottom of my palm to the tip of my middle finger is just over 17cm. XD Damn. Bigger than average anyone? HAHA!

Other than that... there's a reading by an older shortstory writer going on tonight, and I was totally wanting to go before... but now that the weather looks like crap and I still haven't done my homework and Rachel's in class until exactly the time it starts I'm kinda like "Ugg." I have procrastinating issues. T___T Someone slap me out of it. I was doing fine for a while but whenever it's wet outside I just lose all enthusiasm and just want to curl up on my bed and drink tea and watch movies. XD But I'll see about going... I possibly have read something he's written anyway. ^_^;;

I've decided to write a short story about a girl who has a crush on a guy (highschool much?) but I want him to turn out to be a kleptomaniac. XD It seemed so hysterical to me because in the new drama I've been watching the guy who plays the dude who the girl's got a crush on totally acts like he's a klepto. O_O Like every scene I'm like "Did he just take something?" and it amuses me. <3
So I have to write that sometime if I can. >> I may just wait and do it for my short story for Creative Writing. XD

So I guess otherwise I'm alright. ^_^
I want Jason to know that I love him and I miss him and I'm trying not to get fat but there's so much junkfood around this here computer screen. >_> I gotta work out now. XD
I'm gonna go back to listening to all of Billy Piper's hits (she sure can sing but all her songs are SO tween poppy T__T) and I'll try to keep better updates on this site!
Hopefully some new poetry will be going up? Yes? Yes? Maybe? <3

LATER--> Today I was feeling sort of down in the afternoon for some reason... I've been lazy and that's probably why...
Well! So I decided to go ahead and go take a walk outside to cheer myself up! (I didn't end up going to the author's thing and went to do this instead) The sun came up, so I put on shoes and my EWU hoodie and went outside. After that I'd originally thought I'd just go for a walk through campus, but I though "screw that! I'll go up the hill!" so I walked up the hill the other way than I normally go for classes and it occurred to me that I hadn't been up that part of the hill since school began, which made me sad also.
So I walked up the hill and the sun was out which was really nice since it was so cold and snowy this morning. >_>
The street that's below the top of that hill leads to this really, REALLY nice neighborhood which seemed like a good place to go at first but then I was walking along intending to just follow the road and make a big loop back to campus and I noticed this sort of clearing in the grass along the side of the road, so I went through there instead. XD
It was so cool. O_O
Cheney reminds me of Colorado the way the houses are all really nice and there's all this grassland just rolling along for miles and the sky was so big and there were trees I could climb on and then I just followed the sloping hills and got mud on my shoes and it was so fantastic. I haven't done anything like that since I was 12 for sure... just wandering off.
And you know? Once I started wandering and following the grassy hills I decided to be like Forrest Gump and just keep on going so I went until the hills dropped off into a construction zone and then I turned East and into the really nice neighborhood.
People are nice in Cheney too. It could have been because of my EWU hoodie, but everyone always waved and smiled when I walked past and it was just like Colorado. I love it here. I didn't even know that I liked it so much here until I walked that way but I want to go back there again. It was fantastic. <3

So that was my afternoon. ^^ Best walk in a long, long time and I'm back in a chipper mood.
Also Melanie brought Rachel and me this Rorschach movie poster. =D *drool*
Yay!
Peace out! <3

So I'm back in Cheney. T__T;
I miss everyone in Flagstaff, but I guess it's time to be back in school, ne?
Just so everyone knows, Saturday was the best day ever, thank you to Jason for playing catch with me and for everything and your scarf is in it's normal place again. <3 Thank you Cayley for BEING IN FLAGSTAFF WTF. O_O; Thank you Molly for hanging out with me. <3 Thank you Jonny for the DVD of Curious Savage! And for inviting me to dance.
All in all I had a fantastic day. <33 Best part of the whole week somehow. XD
I super miss you all.
I mostly miss you, Jason. Just another few months till I see you again though, so I'll be ok. =D

So I flew to Vegas and there are actually slots in the airport. XD Who knew?
Also on that flight, although I was tired and really just wanted to watch The Curious Savage (I looked totally cute. XD That was definitly the first night. <3) there was this guy who was a total business man who basically gave me all this advice on "how to be successful as a Creative Writer" but after a certain amount of time when he'd started repeating himself I realized that he just likes to hear himself talk. T_T; Ug. So I watched Curious Savage. Loved it. <3 And then when I got here I unpacked and took a nap for around 3 hours.
I'm still so tired. XD
I decided not to sleep and so then I didn't eat. >_O Now I've done both and I'm just unbelievable stiff.
And when I say stiff, I mean that I'm basically in pain when I move any muscle in my body. XD I tried stretching but wow. Stiiiiiiff.
I blame the boys in my life for this. >> BTW.
Jason, you know why the stiffness is your fault. XD Jonny, all that dancing after barely moving around makes the rest of it your fault. <3
But thank you. I'm in surprisingly good shape after that week! =D

Anyway. I'm not totally sure what else to say. I'm rather sleepy still and I think I'm going to get Rachel to watch this new Japanese drama with me... Hanazakari no Kimi Tachi e. It's about a girl who dresses as a guy to get into an all-guys school to be with this guy. XD It's really funny.

Aaaaand I think I'll stretch! =D
Look at all the emoticons. XD Sorry!
So I'm missing you all a bunch!
Love you Jason!!

Whatever you do, do NOT go and read anything I've written yet. XD
No, I'm just kidding.
But really. O_O;
Both Stones and Without Moonlight are in the process of cleaning and revisions.
On top of that, there may be a more steampunk style story up sooner rather than later! =D
How exciting! What am I doing writing all this stuff anyway? XDD

Also in the process of revision: Some poetry! =D
That'll get posted once I get it out of my head and actually revise it. <_<

In other news: I'm totally excited to be going back to Flagstaff this Friday! =D
In fully intend to chillax in the most productive ways possible and possibly to get a tan? XD
I have so much to do inbetween then and now though. >_>

Well, first of all I have my last final, which now I have to study for on my own time *cry*
But the good news is that I've been able to convince my advisor to let me declare my major! Yay!
I am now offically a Creative Writing major! Huzzah! =D All cheer! Thank you very much! ^_^
Although that took a lot of work, and I'll have to commute into Spokane whenever I need to talk to my counsilor. <_<
That's why I have to study on my own, btw. I'm commuting to Spokane on Thursday for a meeting at the Riverpoint Campus, which I've never been to...
I have to go down there and talk to her. It should be interesting. ^_^;

Otherwise, Rachel and I have been watching Last Exile! =D
We were watching Slayers... and Slayers is good and all, but *shrug* I dunno.
Whereas I would normally rather watch anime than anything else, I would rather write than watch Slayers, so *shrug*
So now we're watching Last Exile! =D And I love it! ^_^
This is what brought about the Steampunk revolution. <_< For me. Rachel's going to do a Steampunk picture for Sakuracon and promises me hot dudes. XD And I wrote a Steampunk style story that might eventually get on here. ^_^

I guess that's the story of my life. My hair's gotten really long. O_O;
Can't wait to see what it'll look like once I've cut it to look like Dark's. XD (hopefully it'll look like Dark's hair. >_>)

And with that, goodnight. ^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL7NYcle1s0&feature=channel_page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcv9XgTbD74

Been watching a rather lot of Escaflowne recently. I really liked that show... If you can get over the ridiculous noses, the characters are totally awesome.
Van's my new love. I adopt him.
Images for your enjoyment:



Hitomi, the girl there, is the main character of the show for those who haven't seen it.

Okay! Enough picture times! More about me. XD

I've been getting some work done on Detonation! Sadly that's mostly because I've been procrastinating Stones, but I guess that's how it does. >_> I could be doing All We Sought For too, but *shrug* I'm a lazy person by nature. T^T
Anyway, I came up with all the character names! =D It's Detona, Armado, and Pontus. ^_^ Cool, ne? Those are my three magician students. (Those are their chosen names, not their given names, of course.)
And then I got all their attributes down. I think this is going to work out well!
What I need to say next is a total spoiler so AVERT THINE EYES!

The idea is that Armado falls in love with Tatsu, who is 8 years older than him, she leaves, and he leaves not long after. Well, by then Detona will have a crush on Armado and that will break her friendship with Tatsu who is like a big sister to her. Pontus will eventually develope feelings for Detona, but he looks up to Armado as a big brother, being the youngest of the bunch, so he ends up being the cool guy.
That's all stuff that's totally not like, VITAL to the plot, but relationships are what I live for in a story, so those had to be in there. <3

OK! UNAVERT THINE EYES NOW!

Finals are next week. I think I'm pretty much going to be fine. I'm not worried at ALL about not passing any of my classes, though I do worry a bit about keeping a high GPA with a few of them, but we'll see. It's shouldn't be a big deal after all. ^_^
It's just college I figure. I didn't come here to get a job, I came here to learn more and get a degree so my parents can say I got one. >_>
Although now that I think about it, I really can't DO anything BESIDES write, and I'm still not good enough to live off of that apparently, but what would I do if I couldn't make it as a writer? Nothing. That's what. I'd go be a mercenary for Atheism or something. XD I dunno.

But I am working on writing. >_> Whether it looks like I'm only playing Fire Emblem and watching Anime and doing Tarot fortunes or not, I AM writing. <_< I'll be writing until I can get off my butt to revise Stones and then we'll see where that takes me. ^_^

Anyway. That's all for now I suppose. >_>
Jaa!

Three important topics: Weather, Watchmen, and Scripts.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but this soup is so delightful. It's sad I've got places to go, but I'm watching it snow, watching it snow, watching it snow. <3 ^_^
So I guess the weather finally got cold enough that the rain all turned to snow. Little demon pellets of snow, but snow none the less! =D Weird stuff. People are being mad about it, but I'm pleased. ^^

Watchmen. Go see it. It's freakin BEAUTIFUL O_O I'll try to not have any spoilers in this rant:
But read the book first. The confusing parts are that they change Laurie's character from the bitchy character who basically is the one trying to put the breaks on forward momentum into this ditsy little side-character who's only there for sex, and they change Ozymandias from the smartest guy in the world, and a fairly cool character into this wimpy little badguy type. >_> And that changes the ending significantly enough that it makes NO sense without knowledge of the REAL plot.
Otherwise, Rorschach is PERFECT and that's enough to make me want to go see the movie every minute of my life for the next 90 years. <3
Jon is actually more appealing in the movie. They made him quite feminine actually, which made me adore him (also, his CGI is breathtaking. T^T) Whereas in the book he's easily the most hateable character, in the movie you sort of like him. ^_^
I loved the character of Sally Jupiter much more in the movie. She was adorable. <3
The Comedian was much more human in the movie... but he was done really well, like Rorschach, so no complaints about him.
My only beef with Nite Owl was WTF was he doing there at the end? O_< The hell was that? That whole thing was like "EH?" it was weird. Otherwise he's good. He's not that interesting a character, nor is he supposed to be.
Really, you HAVE to see the movie, but at least try to read the book first or you're going to be confused. The beginning of the movie will fill you in pretty well, but seriously, the end? Just read.

Okay! Big moment:
I wrote a script.
Applaud later. It's actually pretty bad. XD
But I was following a plot laid out by my group and trying to incorporate their dialogue and ideas, so I did my best given the restrictions... and I didn't write it till the last minute. >_>
But I wrote it! Huzzah! ^_^
The thing about it is:
Now I sort of want to write another script.
A full length script. >_>
One written as though it was written by a bard in the world of my story All We Sought For.
What it would be would be a play written about Trent's journey through the story. It would be written as though Trent had related the story to a playwrite after he's begun his reign as Prince.
It would be made so that Trent, the Prince, is the main character and meets many people along the way, and Jaerel would be portrayed as almost a sprite who basically guides him along until he reaches his destination as Prince.
It would be amazing really... and would probably inspire me to start writing a bit more of my story for it. Q__Q;
I would write it in a more Shakespearian style and it would involve rather simple sets...
I think it'll be cool. I'm excited to hear whether or not anyone would be interesting in reading/seeing it though. ^_^

And that looks like that's it for our update! =D I'm going to have to go learn about history now! <3 Yay coffee!

Today, apparently, is Girl's Day in Japan! =D

And also I caught myself up on all the Reilly's Dorm videos! =D Some of them really were quite amusing. ^_^ I enjoyed watching them, and I definitly adore the long hair, Jason. I can't even lie. I love it. <3

I also have been in a very numb mood recently. Apparently it's just because the insomnia's back and I'm not getting enough sleep or I'm thinking too much or something, because I took a nap after class today while listening to my music and a combo of the two left me waking in an excellent mood. ^^
Before that... seriously numb. Like, I wasn't happy. >_O
I wasn't unhappy. For the last few days I definitly haven't been UNhappy. I have absolutely nothing to complain about at all. Not a thing. Life's been great. I just wasn't happy.
Anyway, after sleeping recently I think I'm doing much better. ^_^ So I'd like to apologize to all who I've been grumpy with...
Sorry to Jason, sorry to Jonny... you two I guess got most of my grumbling. I should probably apologize to Rachel for having to deal with me everyday, though I've tried to be tolerable... and to Laurel, because annoying and crazy as she is, I've been worse at dealing with it recently. T__T And Cayley... I dunno if I've been bad, but sorry anyway.

That said! Now I suddenly have THINGS TO DO WITH MY LIFE! O__O
Because the guy who was going to write it has been in the hospital for two weeks (I hope he gets better!) I get to write the play for my group to perform for our final project! =D
It's a five minute play, and my group decided on a rather specific topic...
And it's comedy.
Crap.
I can't write comedy. T__T Why'd I suggest it? I dunno. It was better than the court drama idea. >_>
But really! I can't write comedy... I can hardly write plays! T^T
I hope that guy happens to have already written something so mine will be unnecessary...
But the same day I have to have that written by I also have to have a five page essay and a review of the play I have to go see this weekend.

Guess what else comes out this weekend? =D
The Watchmen.
That's right. The thing I've been waiting for since the moment I heard about it somewhere around two years ago when watching G4 cover Comic-Con. O__O;
So... that cuts back on my time by a bit, since I have to drive into town to see it...

Plus I was wanting to have a more-final version of Stones up! I have to run through and fix it for flow.
And I have to read The Watchmen again before I go see the movie...
There's so much suddenly. O__O;
Two weeks of NOTHING to do and now there's so much. XD

Thus is the life of an epic Procrastinator.

Aaaaaand... yeah.

Kudos to Obscure Studios.

Kudos to the weather being fantastic for most of today (especially during our fire alarm >_< )

^_^ And what I'm listening to now is "Heaven" by Hayley Westerna.
It sort of basically completely sums up the feeling of today post-nap. ^_^

Enjoy all the links on the page! I'm gonna go procrastinate more!

Jaa-mata!

Well a very happy Mardi Gras to everyone! ^^
My schedule for today involved walking a lot in the rain, learning a complex spinny thing for Tango that I no longer entirely remember, going to Japanese, wanting some guacamole and chips, talking to Jason and Jesse and Leana online, sorting my laundry, and sitting on my butt. Tonight should consist of going to eat some (hopefully good) New Orleanian cuisine and then if the weather holds out I'll go to the Music building and watch Jubei's band perform. ^^ I told him I might go, but I think it'd be nice if I DID go. One must support one's friends, no matter how far away they chose to have their gigs. ^^

Other than that... Stones sucks. T___T Sorry. I was all excited, but people are right. It needs more thorough help. I'm revising it currently, so a new version will be up by this weekend for everyone to enjoy thoroughly. ^^

It's been raining a lot here. It was freakin cold, then it decided to rain and everything's started warming up! ^^ I like this kind of weather though, it reminds me of Colorado. Flagstaff's just weird, but all it's weather comes in phases and it's very mild or short. Washington's got weather that's mild, but definitly constant for a full day or week and it's bizzare, but not just freak. ^^ I like it. I love the rain. Grey days are the best.

Now my plan for the day is to watch Xena, Warrior Princess until I get hungry and then do the above! =D

Happy late Birthday to Cayley-chan! <3

Happy late 6-month anniversary to Jason! <3

Happy Mardi Gras to all!

And a happy grey day to me! <33

Jaa-ne!

O__O I finished A) Rewriting Stones, B) Revising Stones, C) Formatting Stones for the website. <3 Heck yes! T^T
So I've got it up there for you to read! =D
Those who recall the story from its original form might be surprised by the simplicity of the story at this point. I've shortened it considerably... the whole thing takes place in a substantially shorter time period, Ansen's less emo and Luc is more mature... but I tried to stay true to their ages rather than making them both be pretty much like... what I'd do. >_> Although Ansen totally acts more like me than like Ansen in this version...
Oh well! =D
I'd be seriously cool in the story too, right? Q__Q Anyway...
I'm going to write an alternate ending for Molly >_> In which Lucas lives. T__T He deserves to live, I just like killing him off. XD How sad...

So please go to Short Stories and read Stones!
And let me know all about anything that makes no sense or that's misspelled or anything that can help me make it better! <3
The best song that goes with it is Evanescence's song Hello.

So what else have I been up to?
Noooot really anything...
I haven't QUITE been reading The Man in the Iron Mask much... although I am really loving it.
I haven't been writing any poetry, but I feel like I should be. Nothing is really inspiring me... >_>
I did find a movie about a poet (Leonardo DiCaprio) is all gay, but the two writers are basically just inspiring each other... umm... LINK. It just looks really good. ^^
But that's what I need! I need to be shocked into inspiration or something. >_> That would be good...
I had really great inspiration apparently for a while, but not wanting anything really doesn't help to create good writing. Everything's so chill, there's no danger, no caution... nothing at all to hide. Just doesn't really make for good writing I guess. XD You can only write so much blank poetry...

Now I'm eating sweethearts and that's just sad so I'm going to find something for myself to do for the rest of the night! <3 Enjoy Stones! =D

It's another year.
Another year...
Wow.
A strong year of course. This time we're in the year of the Ox. 2009. Out of the year of the Rat and coming on strong from the very beginning.

This will be a year of changes.
It will be a year of retribution, of making a difference, of a light to bring us from the darkness that 2008 cast upon the country.

Of course, Happy New Year being said, I'm leaving for Washington again on the 4th. That's 3 days away at this point... 2 because I'm leaving in the morning.
It's weird how bittersweet that thought is.
I feel as trapt as I've always felt being at home. Somehow I've acquired more restrictions in this last month and caused a bigger gap with my mother than I've had the last 18 years of my life.
That's something that can be solved someday though. Since things work out in the end.
Either way, it makes me more than ready to get back to the freedom of my dorm.

The part I regret is that Jason is here, in Flagstaff.
Four years... six since he's going to graduate school, with only seeing each other for a month or a week or a summer at a time... it's so long.
I mean, it's not that long. Look at that! This time last year I didn't even know his name! ^^ The years pass by quickly enough... they take a long time but they stack up fast. Time isn't really something I'm at liberty to complain about anyway.
Anyway... I don't want to have to say goodbye again. It's too hard to say goodbye again and again... T___T;

I just lost my thought process.

Well... beyond that. ^^;
I didn't do a single one of the productive things I intended to do over the break.
Not a one.
XD
How sad is that? Just go ahead and sit around a whole month... it's the story of my life I'm afraid.

It's 1:00. I'm going iceskating with Jason tomorrow. XD I'm picking him up around 11. A smart person would be headed to bed at this point. <_< I'll probably be up another hour or two.

Anyway, my motto's always been "Everything turns out alright in the end" but maybe this year it'll be "Be Ambicious!" XD

My resolutions for this year:

1- Finish revising Stones
2- Finish revising Into The Ocean
3- Revise Epilogue
4- Get some poetry published
5- Celebrate 2010 with Jason also <3

Yeah.
Okay! That's as mushy as I'm going to get. Now I'm going to go see if I can't get Wuthering Heights uploaded and some Steam games installed and then fix up some other features on this site. ^^

Goodnight and Happy 2009!

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